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Ruth Butaumocho
Gender Editor
Infidelity is as old as humankind and has evolved over the centuries. A classic example is that of the king of Israel, David who committed adultery with the beautiful wife of Uriah after he saw her naked, bathing.Inflamed with passion, the king sent for the “immodest temptress,” and with her, committed adultery. Although some of the incidences of infidelity have had consequential results, love triangles or infidelity from both sexes continue unabated.
Some documented cases of infidelity have cost individuals their lives and have also reminded others of their worth in relationships.
The advent of social media seems to have amplified the problem of infidelity, if content that is finding its way on different social media platforms is anything to go by.
Social media platforms like WhatsApp are awash with explicit chats and footage of women being undressed and beaten up by other members of the fairer sex over men.
Disturbing material of women cowering in fear while being brutalised by fellow women as scores of onlookers cheer on the abusers have become regular feeds for social media spaces.
And women stand accused of creating all this negative content for social media, while humiliating their own.
Fortunately for men, their reputation remains untainted
Cultural context often shields these men from the limelight by depicting them as heroes, macho and innocent men who have no option, but to fall for the woman, who often finds herself labelled a prostitute once the affair finds its way into the courts of public opinion.
The biggest casualty in all these dramatic cases of infidelity or love triangles has seen women often referred to as the “small house” or “side chick”.
Sadly, these love triangles where women fight each other over a man cheapen them. It is tacky, tactless and beneath the real attributes of a woman who knows her worthy.
The hard reality of such a situation is that women who fight over a man both end up losers in a very big way.
Samaita, Mhofu or Nyamuzihwa becomes the biggest winner because he is getting both women to give him the full benefits of a relationship without any commitment or consequences.
And the mere fact that two women are fighting over him will indeed boost his ego. He gets the satisfaction of knowing that no matter what happens, he will still have one of the love-struck women in his arms.
I have heard people — both men and women — saying the physical fights count as protection of personal space and that they are necessary battles that individuals have to engage in once in a while.
That perception is very wrong and should be corrected before Zimbabwe becomes a nation full of women without integrity and cannot differentiate pertinent issues from trivialities.
If anything, the reason why women fight over men is simple — lack.
To many women, a man — whether married or single — can represent a roof over their head, food in their belly, clothes on their back and most importantly, a pride in their bearing.
While I don’t know of many people who wouldn’t fight to protect an “investment” that guarantees them most of life’s basic necessities, it is downright degrading to fight over a man for whatever reason.
The problem is that the majority of women were socialised into equating a man to a passage towards shelter, food, clothing and respectability.
Women need to claw to the top and fight to achieve all those on their own.
It is within the same spirit that the sisters should stop providing content for social media through their unrelenting attacks on each other and instead work towards improving themselves.
Women who fight over men need to make a decision whether they want to keep settling life’s bills through tears, or move forward towards self-emancipation.
Experience has taught us that there is nothing for free in life and people will have to pay for what they have — either through tears or sweat — and there is no doubt that the latter is better.
Online Reporter