Online Reporter
Cassie Achermann-Matters of Faith
I got married eight months ago. I had previously been living on the same property as my sister, her husband, and their two young daughters.
So the joys of marriage were accompanied by the grief of no longer seeing my family daily. I had a new suburb, a new house, a new family.
I have always found change difficult, even when it was for the better. Thankfully, marriage brings many reasons to rejoice. But I have still needed to seek the Lord’s help.
Here are four recommendations that can help us process our changing circumstances.
Look Up
Change is jarring when it upends our routines. There might be a new person in our house, or a new house altogether. Our workload might increase, pushing out the time we used to have for rest or seeing friends. Our usual afternoon walk might now take place on unfamiliar streets. We might no longer see or talk to a loved one daily.
But one feature of daily life is secure: Our God remains the same. His character and attributes form a steady rock that gives us stability and peace even when the landscape shifts around us. There’s peace in knowing that God is immutable—he “does not change in any way.”
Look Back
Of course, marriage isn’t the first change in my life. I’ve grown up through school and university. I’ve had multiple jobs. My parents have moved to a different city. I’ve changed churches. I’ve made friends and lost them. I’ve developed a chronic illness and recovered from it. I’ve entered a relationship for the first time.
Looking back, I see God’s mercies at every turn. He’s provided for my practical, emotional, and spiritual needs. He’s used even the hardest changes to bring me closer to him and to grow me in faith and godliness. I can attest from experience, not just from head knowledge, that “for those who love God all things work together for good” (Rom. 8:28).
Amid change, we should heed God’s commands to his Old Testament people: They were called to remember. Psalm 105 recounts God’s “wondrous works” (vv. 2, 5) for his people throughout generations, particularly in the exodus. They were tasked with teaching others (v. 1) and their children (145:4; Deut. 6:20–25) about God’s faithfulness, which means they had to rehearse this story themselves.
This kind of remembrance fuels our faith too. God has remained faithful in every change in my life so far. He’ll be faithful in this one.
Look Ahead
Each season brings opportunities to experience blessings from God that weren’t available in our previous circumstances. Yet in this fallen world, we’ll never reach full joy. There will always be trade-offs.
By getting married, I gave up daily involvement in my nieces’ lives. But I’ve opened the possibility of having my own children. By moving houses, I gave up the delight of a backyard where I could watch some of my favourite bird species. But I gained a new home with a window over my kitchen sink, way more space than my studio apartment, and delightful new birds. We can celebrate our new mercies even as we grieve former ones.
But one day, we won’t need to compromise. We’ll enter a world of endless delight and joy—no separation from God, no separation from those in Christ whom we love. Endless joy, endless delight, with nothing to mar it. Not having everything I want now is a blessing, because it reminds me this world isn’t my home.
Look Around
As we look up and back and ahead, we mustn’t forget to be present where God has us right now. The Bible often commands us to live with a daily posture of gratitude.
Let the expectation of God’s mercies to come pull you away from getting mired in nostalgia or grief. Bring your pain to the Lord, and ask him to show you what gardens are waiting to bloom in your new life.
When you doubt that day will ever come, look around at other Christians. Gathering with my congregation each Sunday, I see a widow who lost her husband to cancer at age 42—and who serves faithfully and joyfully in multiple ministries. I see a woman, formerly uninterested in Christianity, who was baptised less than a year after she almost lost her teenage son, a member of our church, to a heart condition. I see men and women who persevere in seeking the Lord through job loss, infertility, and the ordinary but challenging changes of life.
Through all manner of trials and transitions, these believers rely on the Lord’s faithfulness. Be encouraged by his work in others’ lives as you wait for your own flowers to sprout. – tgc.org
