peter
HAVE you ever noticed how a large number of guys always gather for a braai, also known as “amawoso” or “ingango” early in the morning on weekends? It is perhaps for reasons of wanting to cure the beer hangover after a heavy beer binge the previous night or to simply meet up as friends to recap the overnight events over a braai.
You observe the braai stands with all types of meat ranging from beef, pork, mutton, goat meat, sausages, chicken and offals. Meanwhile, some ladies who run a sadza-selling business would be busy slicing tomatoes, onions, cucumbers and bananas to make salads that will be eaten with the sadza and the meat. It’s so fascinating to see how huge the guys’ appetites are, as they hurriedly and hungrily gobble the meat, sadza and salads.
Many a time, you hear of housewives remarking that their spouses have a very low appetite especially after a beer drink. “Eyami indoda ayidli kakhulu nxa inathile, ucupha kabili nje, inhliziyo yakhe ihle ibe mnyama.”
How very mistaken the housewives are! If only they would arrive unannounced at a braai centre, they would get the shock of their lives to find the husbands feasting heavily on platters full of meat and huge lumps of sadza.
Other guys have been known to lie to their wives that they prefer vegetables rather than meat. A wife will proudly tell her friends that her hubby is not fussy over meat.
“Usamfana uzithandela nje imbhida, exhwathisiweyo, loba ingela tamatisi.” Unbeknown to the poor gullible woman is that the husband would have consumed lots of meat and salads during the day!
Besides braaing meat, you find guys enjoying cow hooves, “amangqina” or cow head meat, “inhloko” to the extent that their even drink the thick delicious residual soup mixed with hot chillies, “ibilebile”, and even ask for more of the soup like Oliver Twist in the novel by Charles Dickens. “Ngicela ungithelele umsobho masalu, and umnandi blind.”
Clearly there should be a reason why most guys avoid eating at their homes. Many will tell you that they do not enjoy the food at home because of spices and cooking oil that is added to the food by the wives.
Guys prefer roasted meat or simply boiled meat with no additives except salt and chillies. They claim that food cooked with spices does not appetise and neither does it cure a beer hangover, “ibhabhalazi”. Thus they would say, “Ukudla kwedeni akwenzi, abafazi abaqavi ukutshuna.”
Another popular reason why most men prefer to eat more wholeheartedly at braai centres than at their homes, perhaps stems from the beer drinkers’ philosophy that food is more enjoyable when you share it in large numbers from a single plate or bowl. The more the merrier! “Ibhodo yokudla libanengi imnandi plus iyangena swi”.
Is there perhaps some kind of narcissism that is associated with all this kind of behaviour? To some extent, one would be inclined to believe so.
Eating out with friends whereby you can eat in a manly and unmannerly way gives some guys some kind of bravado. The rule at a braai centre is that there are no rules.
Unlike at home where one has to say a thanksgiving prayer before eating and observe table manners, at a braai centre one can eat freely, talk loudly and freely drink “umsobho”.
Guys who eat at home and are served a small portion of soft sadza and a few pieces of meat in a china plate are often viewed as “sissy-like”, by the guys who frequent the braai centres or “tshisanyama”.
Some guys have also stated that at home they feel inhibited or curtailed to eat to their limit because the wife will ration the amount of sadza and the number of pieces of meat and even the size of the meat pieces.
This then is always a problem for guys with gigantic appetites, which then forces them to go and eat out with other gents, “amajida”. Guys are happy that at a braai centre, one eats with no limits. You braai as much as your wallet allows you!
According to other guys, eating at home is not so pleasurable because housewives tend to cook a similar type of dish almost on a daily basis.
Some guys just cannot stand sadza, meat and chomolia every day! They would rather go out for mixed types of meats and salads.
On a closer analysis, there is basically nothing wrong with guys going to braai with friends once in a while. The problem is when the guy will buy vegetables and sour milk, or “Lacto” for his family on a daily basis, when he hoards his money and spends it every weekend at a “tshisanyama”.
That is indeed a shameful and despicable habit which should not be condoned, but should be criticised heavily and dismissed with the contempt that it deserves.
An embarrassing story is told of Zagamo, a guy from Tshabalala Township in Bulawayo. Zagamo is a regular at a popular “tshisanyama” known as Chicken Corner at Tshabalala Extension.
He is one of the most revered guys who is always braaing happily with friends every Saturday and Sunday from morning till evening.
One Sunday morning all hell broke loose when his wife together with his five small kids suddenly appeared at the braai centre.
She found him busy tending to the meat that was on the braai stand. She screamed at him on top of her voice, accusing him of neglecting the family and not buying them enough food while he could afford to be at the “tshisanyama” almost daily.
“Ulizanka lendoda, utshona usosa lapha nsukuzonke, uthi abantwabakho badlani?” With that she grabbed all the meat on the braai stand and walked away with her five kids.
I am told Zagamo had a tough time in trying to negotiate how he would compensate the angry guys who were demanding their meat back.
He has not been seen at Chicken Corner for over a month now. Most probably he is now enjoying home-cooked meals.
Till we meet again, enjoy your weekend plus “umsobho wamangqina.”
Feedback: Clifford Kalibo/ Email: [email protected]/ 0719856228 / 0783856228 / WhatsApp: 0779146957
Online Reporter