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Fungai Lupande
Mash Central Bureau
Growing up, Patricia Limasi (25) did not understand why she was taking medicine daily and her maternal grandmother only told her that the pills were to make her body strong.
Limasi, who was born HIV positive, said she discovered her status on her own when she was 16-years-old.
Married now to an HIV negative husband, Limasi said she did not immediately disclose her status at the beginning of the relationship for fear of stigma and lack of confidence that someone could love her unconditionally.
They are blessed with two children aged 4 and 2, both HIV negative.
The story is not only about how someone lives with HIV, but also about the medical advances and advice that allow such a life to be lived fully. ART allows a great deal, including total suppression of viral load, and earlier advances allowed HIV-free children to be born to HIV-positive mothers.
Speaking in Bulawayo recently at a round table discussion organised by Pan African Positive Women’s Coalition Zimbabwe, Ms Limasi said: “When I discovered my status a lot of questions ran through my mind including whether I will get married or have children.
“Through counselling and support groups I gained confidence and courage that even if I disclose my status and people stigmatise me, I won’t be affected.
“I went through the prevention of mother to child transmission and we are living HIV free. Adherence to medication is crucial. After six months we get tested as a couple.
“I am happy to be married. My husband and his family are very supportive. He is the one who wakes me up so that I don’t miss time for my medication”
Limasi is one of many children whose parents or guardian hid the truth about their HIV status and the child’s status. The parents themselves might have been struggling with self-stigma and may not be ready to disclose their status to their children.
In some cases, spouses take their medication secretly or they give their children medication without telling them what it is for.
Although we are close to four decades with HIV/AIDS and almost everyone has an idea about the disease, disclosure is not easy and it is a process.
This reveals a complex process prompting Maud Chinembiri to start a, “12 weeks course on self-stigma, shame, blame and fear” which she said was inspired by the Work of Byrone Katie.
Sharing her story Chinembiri (26), a university graduate, said one day she was walking with her boyfriend when her father met them.
“My father chased me from home. Little did he know that I never had sex with my boyfriend neither did he ever touched me indecently. I went to my aunt’s house seeking refuge, but she too insisted that I elope to my boyfriend,” she said.
“I stayed for a week at my in-law’s house without being intimate with him until one day he forced me into unprotected sex saying I was his wife. I became pregnant and contracted HIV at the same time.”
She urged parents to strengthen their parent-to-child communication and never force their children to stay with anyone.
“I found out that I was HIV positive when I went to antenatal care. My parents and his parents started fighting, insulting each other over who infected who. We divorced and I went back home depressed, frustrated and angry,” she said.
“After learning a lot about HIV in support groups, I acquired more information about self-stigma and how to fight blame and shame. I found out that it was not the end of the world and I can still do a lot. I forgave my husband. I had a lot of bitterness.”
Now, they have their second child together and are re-married, this time voluntarily.
“Disclosure was not easy but the education and support empowered me. Disclosure was a good thing for me because it made people aware of my situation when I get sick and challenges. I cannot help other young people when I am still fighting self-stigma,” she said.
After going to Germany under the Work of Byrone Katie scholarship, Chinembiri formed her organisation, the Work under the Tree Trust.
“Now I am doing the 12 week course of self-stigma on shame, blame and fear with young people,” she said.
Online Reporter