Online Reporter
How can you develop a lasting romantic connection with your partner? How do you maintain love in a relationship?
Finding that special someone who complements your beliefs, goals, and quirks isn’t something that happens every day.
Sometimes, you have to date a number of people before you find someone you really mesh with.
When this happens, and you find someone you want to enter a relationship with, longevity isn’t something that’s promised.
Even relationships that have a solid foundation can require conscious effort to maintain.
To maintain love in a relationship, you may want to consider these eight aspects.
Explore communication
You’ve probably heard communication is key in a relationship. This remains true, whether it’s in your romantic life, personal life, or professional life.
Communicating isn’t as simple as just talking about things, however. Everyone has their own communication style.
Being in a relationship can mean learning how your communication style works and how it compares to your partner’s.
You may need to explore alternative methods if you don’t feel you both communicate effectively when emotions elevate.
Do things together
There’s a common saying that opposites attract. While this may be true in some areas of science, it isn’t always a sound relationship standard.
Yes, it can be important to retain your individuality while in a lasting romantic relationship.
Who you are as an individual is what attracted you together in the first place.
Because of that, you’ll have differences, but having a common ground for bonding can also be important.
Spending time together doing something you both enjoy can solidify a friendship within your romantic relationship.
According to research looking at older couples in long-term relationships, companionship and laughter were among the most prized aspects of being with a partner.
If you never have a reason to spend time together, you may find you enjoy yourself most when you’re apart.
Work on yourself
We all have quirks and traits we bring to a relationship.
Sometimes, how we behave and think may be heavily influenced by past experiences. These behaviours might make it challenging to stay in long-term relationships.
If you’ve had past partners who were abusive or unfaithful, for example, you might find it challenging to fully trust a romantic partner.
Understanding who you are and what behaviours you may need to manage can be an important step toward relationship longevity.
You’re able to change yourself — not someone else. It’s your half of the equation you can take care of. And that’s already 50 percent progress.
Being open with your partner about working on yourself may help, as well. “I’m working on (issue). Please be patient with me” can go a long way toward encouraging understanding. It might also motivate them to work on themselves.
Show your appreciation
A review on the research involving romantic relationships identified gratitude, or appreciation, as one of the critical components in a successful long-term romantic relationship.
The concept of showing appreciation, however, can be challenging. Saying “thank you” every five minutes when your partner does something can feel disingenuous.
Developing alternative ways to show appreciation may help keep a level of sincerity and can promote a sense of awareness for the things your partner does.
Be responsive
Feeling ignored can sometimes be worse than feeling like you’re just on opposite sides of a debate.
Data from a 2011 study showed how your partner perceives your responsiveness is directly linked to long-term relationship satisfaction.
Help them help themselves
Just as you can only manage your behaviours, your partner is responsible for what they bring to the relationship.
If your partner has experienced trauma or other situations that may influence their behaviours, they may benefit from professional guidance.
If they’re open to it, you may be able to act as a support network to encourage them to speak with a mental health professional.
Review how you say things
Words are there to help us accurately convey our thoughts.
You may not actively think about it, but the way you say things matters, even if your partner might recognise a different underlying intent.
Saying, “Don’t be stupid,” when your partner does something absent-mindedly literally implies they’re acting out of a lack of intelligence.
Over time, statements like this can ding self-esteem, and according to research from 2014, high self-esteem is linked to both partners’ relationship satisfaction.
Encourage intimacy
Intimacy, both emotional and physical, can demonstrate how important your partner is to you.
Emotional intimacy often involves sharing deeply personal thoughts, beliefs, and dreams.
Physical intimacy tends to be a sexual or affectionate physical expression of the bond you share as a couple.
In 2014, research found intimacy level had a strong influence on a couple’s relationship satisfaction.
Let’s recap
There’s no single recipe for success when it comes to lasting romantic relationships. But building fulfilling bonds is possible with a little effort and intention.
While we all have basic relationship needs such as affection, security, and acceptance, how these needs are met can vary from individual to individual.
Appreciation, for example, may present through affection. Acceptance might develop through open communication and self-esteem building.
If you feel you have common ground with your partner but just can’t put your finger on what’s missing, couple’s therapy may be a good place to explore your relationship dynamic. —(psychcentral.com)
