A day of love rather than that of heartbreaks

Melody Dube
THE month of February is considered the “month of love” around the globe as people will be celebrating Saint Valentine’s Day commonly known as Valentine’s Day on February 14.

It is a day mostly celebrated by couples even in Zimbabwe.

This day being celebrated tomorrow however, seems to have lost its meaning and significance. Instead of couples celebrating their love, many now tend to focus more on things that should not be highlights of this particular day.

The common activity done nowadays is the exchange of huge and expensive gifts. Couples now seem to put a lot of energy into that at the expense of expressing their affection towards each other.

The notion of celebrating love has been conveniently forgotten as the day is no longer recognised for what it originally represented. Couples now misconstrue the significance of Valentine’s Day.

According to the legend behind this significant day, the tradition originated from the Roman festival of Lupercalia around the third century AD when they celebrated fertility in their society. It is said that this festival was later adopted by Christianity and changed into a Remembrance Day of Saint Valentine the martyr. St Valentine is said to be a Roman martyr who died for the sake of love. He was murdered by Emperor Claudius II over marriage disputes.

The Emperor never allowed his soldiers to marry because he thought married men made bad soldiers. St Valentine who was of a different view then went against that order to hold secret marriages for couples in love.

The martyr was then imprisoned and later killed on 14 February when it is believed that he wrote a letter to the jailer’s daughter he had fallen in love with. The letter was signed “from your Valentine”, thus the 14 February celebration.

Later on, as part of the celebrations on this day, it is said that boys drew names of girls from a box. They would be boyfriend and girlfriend during the festival and sometimes got married. The festival was more about love than gifting. However, with time, couples began to send tiny gifts like chocolates together with the Valentine’s letter.

Currently, celebrations on this special day have changed from how they were like in the early years. Valentine’s Day has become more about exchanging gifts and not just tiny ones. Couples nowadays can go as far gifting each other with things as huge as cars and houses.

Although it is good to gift each other with such, the actual significance of Valentine’s Day should not be lost. People in love should focus on spending time together, celebrating their love and making future plans for their relationships. The day should not be about high expectations for material gifts.

It is a fact that nowadays, most relationships end around this time of the year when love is supposed to be rekindled as per the original concept of Valentine. Couples also face strains of unmet expectations mostly coming from women.

Men feel pressured by their partners to buy gifts they cannot afford.

At times failure to deliver on the gifts results in some couples divorcing and lovers not yet married ending their love affairs.

Due to the day being misconstrued, some men who are seemingly fed up have formed a group called “Stingy Men Association” that is trending all over social media. This group was designed as a way of defying this mindset on Valentine’s Day. On these groups, mostly on WhatsApp and Facebook, men are encouraging each other not to spoil their partners on Valentine’s Day.

The day is becoming chaotic year by year because of its lost idea around the globe. Valentine’s Day is about finding love, growing in love and excelling in love. Therefore, couples should go back to this original idea. They should seize the opportunity to celebrate the existence of such a tradition as it only comes once a year.

People in love should take time to trace the origins of St Valentine’s Day to understand its morals better.

It is recorded that great historic figures like Charles Duke of Orleans honoured this tradition for what it was as he once wrote a Valentine’s letter to his wife. The Great Henry V wrote to Catherine of Valois. Geoffrey Chaucer the poet also wrote a poem about this day. Its history is educative and therefore must be traced. St Valentine’s Day should remain a day of love instead of chaos and heartbreaks.