Chronicle Editor
Mkhululi Ncube, Chronicle Reporter
THE abundance of gold in Umzingwane District which has lured many from far and wide, and the gold wars and environmental degradation are in the public eye.
What may still need to be revealed is the trail of destruction happening to the young girls whose dreams of a better future that once glittered as gold have vanished.
The young girls who are initially promised heaven on earth by sex predators discover when it is all too late that there are only promises and lies and that not everything that glitters is gold.
With innocent babies strapped on their backs, others on the ground, and some in their arms, the young mothers, some pregnant, are waiting for their chance to give their experiences to the Zimbabwe Gender Commission (ZGC) which is holding national public hearings on child marriages and sexual exploitation as well as abuse of young girls at Esikhoveni Training Centre in Umzingwane district recently.
Sexual exploitation and child marriages cause and worsen poverty as the majority of the girls’ situation is a long tale of pain and suffering.
Talking to the girls is a difficult task as one has to hear how bright life can forever be changed by one “foolish” decision.
Sithabile Bhanda (not her real name) was a 15-year-old Grade Seven learner at Mbalabala Primary School when she gave birth in November 2020 and blames herself for failing to resist when a gold panner boyfriend showered her with money which resulted in her early sexual life.
“My boyfriend who is into gold panning was showering me with money and even bought me an expensive phone. I had a comfortable life at home but I just fell for the money and gifts that he was giving me. But after I became pregnant, he changed.
He no longer wanted anything to do with me. What is painful is that I see him daily ruining other girls’ lives using the same modus operandi. He does not take care of his child, let alone that he destroyed my life. Had I continued in school I would not be in this situation.
“Our teachers used to warn us that if we have boyfriends, we will get pregnant but we did not give much thought to it. He was 21 years old when he proposed to me and used to give me US$20 notes and I would buy food and other nice things. My parents did not know that I had a boyfriend until I was pregnant,” she said.
Now stranded, Sithabile says she has been forced to fend for the child and herself, forcing her to work on the farms.
“I was too young to really understand the implications of what I was doing. I did not even know the dangers of having sexual intercourse then because I was just ignorant and I was shocked when I was told that I am pregnant. To other young girls out there be wise and concentrate on your schoolwork and never fall for anyone who wants sex because once they get it, they will dump you,” she said.
A heavily pregnant Sehlaphi Dumani (not her real name) was also 15 when she got pregnant last year while doing Form One at Mvuthu Secondary School.
She blames the environment at home which saw her being taken from one relative to another as her mother was not always home which saw her getting into relationships early.
She curses a birthday party invitation extended to her by a friend which saw her meeting the man who impregnated her after proposing love to her.
“I was invited to a birthday party in Mawabeni by my friend and that is where I met the guy who impregnated me. I had been in relationships with other boys although I had not had sex with them but this guy used to invite me to his home during weekends as there was no one at home and we would engage sexually leading to my pregnancy. I did not realise I was pregnant and I was wondering why I was falling sick until I learned that I was pregnant which shocked me. When I told my boyfriend he refused responsibility. My family took me to his homestead to deliver the news but he said he will make a decision once I have given birth.
“His mother said we should not report the issue to the police and promised to support me and send me back to school after I give birth. But I feel I ruined my life because I was very bright at school. Society laughed at me but I have accepted my situation. To other young girls please be careful because once you are pregnant life changes forever,” she said.
Eighteen-year-old Memory Mathathu (not her real name) fell pregnant after finishing Grade Seven and could not proceed to secondary school due to financial constraints.
She eloped with her “husband” thinking that it was the best decision for her since her mother was struggling to take care of her and her three other siblings.
“I failed to go to secondary school because my mother is a single parent and was struggling to provide for us. So, when I got pregnant, I eloped with my boyfriend so that he could take care of the pregnancy. My mother is still not happy with me. My boyfriend is into gold panning and he tries to support me.
“If my mother had been able to send me to school I would still be at school. Being in early marriage is not good because you are not mature to face the challenges of marriage and there are so many things that you do not know. For now, I wish I could get someone to help me do a course because I am very intelligent but I am stuck in the marriage. The Government should assist children in my situation because we are forced into it by circumstances,” she said.
Ms Mathathu is on separation from her husband after they had misunderstandings over his girlfriends and although the parents helped them reconcile, she is yet to return to him.
For Thabisile Tshuma (not her real name) who was 16 and doing Form Four when she got pregnant by her 24-year-old boyfriend, she thought having boyfriends was part and parcel of “growing up” but never counted the effects.
“Sahlangana ka one ngahle ngazithwala (we had sex once and I got pregnant). I was a virgin and he refused to use protection. My parents were angry so I ran away from home and went to live with my boyfriend. My parents were always telling me that I disappointed them and such talk just made me elope.
“For now, I wish I just could do a course since I already have three kids. Early marriage is tough and sometimes I wish I could just leave my children and go somewhere because the pressure is too much,” she said
The situation is different though for Annabella Nkomo (14) (not her real name) who was stopped by her family from getting married to her 19-year-old boyfriend due to her young age.
But if she was left to herself, she would have gladly walked into marriage with the man she met in November last year blaming her parents for failing to pay for her school fees.
She says she did not complete Grade Seven and has been forced to work to support herself.
“My boyfriend promised to marry me but my parents refused saying I am too young. They held meetings at home and deliberated on the issue and they refused and said maybe if I reach 17, he can marry me. But since my parents cannot afford to send me to school it is better they let me get married to him. He was even promising to send me to school when he marries me. We used to meet when I went to fetch firewood or water and we would get intimate,” she said.
Annabella is now home waiting for the day she will be allowed to marry and may fall pregnant and elope with her boyfriend.
A local media and human rights activist, Mrs Sibusisiwe Bhebhe believes society has failed the children, especially the girl child as they are being forced to grow up too early.
She said the solution to this challenge cannot be left to the Government only and a multi-sectorial approach is needed.
“The root problem is children are being forced to abandon childhood at a tender age. Girls have to be mothers to their siblings and do house chores, some even provide when they have to be playing and enjoying their childhood. Our society is failing our children by forcing them to grow up too fast and pushing them into the arms of manipulative predators who lure them with simple things like food, and clothes which are normally basic things that parents must be providing.
“We need investment into youth-friendly facilities to offer young people age-appropriate activities and peer-to-peer related events and interaction. For years, youths, especially girls have gone without recreational facilities and entertainment for their age. Without this, added to the poverty situations they face, more and more girls end up being sexual victims but only as a means of getting out of poverty as well as a form of recreation. It’s time we as communities stepped up,” said.
She said there is a need for society to call out predatory behaviour and name and shame men who violate children and call out parents who marry off their children or use them as baits for money.
Action, not words are what is needed to turn the tide against the violation of the girl child as many of them are on a path to doom and gloom. Follow @themkhust
Online Reporter