Sundaymail Editor
Mudzimba
Dr Rebecca Chisamba
Dear Amai, thank you very much for your insightful column. I am a married 27-year-old man with one child. I noticed that when people write to you, their identities are hidden.
As for myself, you can use my identity because I have nothing to hide. Of late, I have been experiencing problems each time I eat or drink something, as I feel like throwing up.
I consulted a traditional healer and was told that this is happening because very soon I will transition into a spirit medium.
How do I even prepare myself or tell my family?
Response
Thank you for reaching out to me and supporting this platform. I admire your boldness, but due to my ethics and best practice, I believe it is in your best interest for me to protect your identity. I am sorry you are not well.
Please go to a clinic or hospital to get the diagnosis and assistance you need.
I reserve my comment on the issue of spirituality because it is not my area of expertise.
Why not ask those who are authorities on the matter how these gifts manifest to ensure you are not taken for a ride? I would be happy to hear from you again.
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My father is having an affair
Dear Amai, I hope I find you well. I am a student at a local university. My parents have been married for 30 years and I am the secondborn and only boy in the family. I am 20 years old.
My father is an elder at our church and is well respected. My mother sings her heart out in the church choir. They love each other and it is truly evident.
A few weeks ago, a friend of mine shocked me when he told me that my father was going out with a very young girl from their neighbourhood.
It appears she is the same age as my 22-year-old sister. I teamed up with my friend and we saw him pick up this girl twice.
Each time he goes out, he tells my mother that he is going to the office.
I have now developed a deep hatred towards my father and he is wondering why.
I have two options: either to beat up this girl or to go with my mother so that she catches them red-handed. Please help!
Response
I am very well, thank you for asking. I can sense your anger and frustration, but remember two wrongs do not make a right. It is against the law to assault someone and you will end up in even more trouble. Human beings have a way of solving their issues amicably. Your father’s behaviour made my reading very sad. I know that what he is doing is immoral, but he remains your father. Have a candid talk with him without losing your head.
Please do not involve your mum at this juncture because, for the most part, you are riding on assumptions. Depending on what he tells you, you can determine the next step, such as who to involve.
Must I quit
my job?
I am a 31-year-old househelp and I have been working at the same place for the past five years.
My day off is supposed to be Sunday, but my boss is always asking me to stay on because of her busy schedule. I start early and finish very late.
have a few hours to sleep and this is now taking a toll on me.
My monthly payments come in dribs and drabs. I am thinking that the day they give me the money I am owed I will disappear. I am confused. I do not know what to do, please help.
Response
Greetings dear writer. Do you have a written contract?
It is very important to have one because you will refer to it in times like these.
Verbal contracts are not binding because some people move goalposts. Usually, for domestic workers, terms are negotiated in good faith.
Unfortunately, it seems the limits are being pushed. You are entitled to your day off as per your agreement.
You mentioned long work hours; is this what you agreed upon when you started?
The remuneration pattern is not making business sense at all. However, it is not good to abscond when you get your money.
I strongly advise you to sit down with your boss and request to have a written contract that will be adhered to. If you are not happy, then submit your notice and let them know of your intentions.
I wish you all the best.
Feedback: beckychisamba @gmail.com
Bongani Ndlovu
Online Reporter