An unforgettable ‘Bullet Train’ ride

Film Review
Tinashe Kusema

WATCHING “Bullet Train” can be a jarring experience.

And, to use one of my favourite quotes from the HBO cult classic “Veeps”, “it is like watching a baby smoke a cigarette – it’s kind of cool, but also very disturbing”.

In one of the more memorable scenes from the movie, an assassin literally jumps onto a moving bullet train, smashes a window with his bare hands, and makes it back into the train without a scratch on him.

Let us take a moment, and allow that visual to sink in for a while.

The implication is that we are supposed to suspend belief long enough to follow a mere mortal man as he chases down a moving Shinkansen bullet train. Most of these trains are known to travel at maximum speeds of 320 kilometres per hour.

But that is Hollywood for you.

If you can get past some of the ridiculous set pieces contained in the movie, David Leitch’s “Bullet Train” is an entertaining and enjoyable watch.

The story takes place on a moving train.

The film follows a retiring assassin by the name Ladybug (Brad Pitt), who reluctantly embarks on a simple snatch-and-grab mission that sees him stealing a mysterious briefcase with a train sticker on it.

However, unbeknown to the assassin, the briefcase belongs to a mysterious crime boss known as the White Death and it contains ransom money, which he had paid to rescue his son (Logan Lerman).

Both the son, who is only known as The Son, and the briefcase are guarded by two assassins known as Lemon (Brian Tyree Henry) and Tangerine (Aaron Taylor-Johnson).

The train is also carrying a number of other assassins and criminals, who are either after the briefcase or have some connection to it or its owner.

These include a young female assassin posing as an innocent schoolgirl, The Prince (Joey King); a father (Hiroyuki Sanada as The Elder) and son (Andrew Koji as The Father) duo with ties to the Yakuza mafia; and an American assassin known as The Hornet (Zazie Beetz), who specialises in poison.

With many combustible elements on one moving train, it does not take a rocket scientist to predict that all these assassins end up trying to kill each other.

The film is a tribute to yesteryear films like “Kill Bill” and “Traffic”. It embraces the strengths from both films and polishes their weaknesses.

All these assassins and characters are given their own moments and backstories, with the overall plot tying them together in a nice little bow.

Zak Olkewicz, who did the screenplay and most of the writing, does an excellent job as the material is good and blends well with Leitch’s eye and expertise for action in the director’s chair.

I had to google the director, and found out that he has extensive knowledge as a filmmaker, actor, stunt performer and stunt coordinator.

He made his directorial debut in the 2014 action film “John Wick”, and it is plain for all to see just how good the 46-year-old filmmaker really is.

Kudos to him.

The film also has a star-studded ensemble, with the likes of Pitt, King, Taylor-Johnson and Henry (in particular), Koji and Sanada.

There are a couple of surprise
blink-and-you-miss-it cameos from the likes of Sandra Bullock, Bad Bunny, Channing Tatum, and even Ryan Reynolds, to give the film that extra star power.

Midway through the film, it becomes apparent that there is a big mysterious hand responsible for getting all these assassins onto this particular train, and the big reveal is handled very well.

It links every single story on board the train and ties it up well at the end.

I doubt this film will ever get critical acclaim or even reach cult status, but it is a fun watch and, arguably, one of the better film products of the year.