Another year, more strange occurrences at home and away

BAR TALK with Bra Gee
Welcome all ye faithful to another fresh New Year that the Lord has provided and may the bountifulness of His grace shower you all the way as you continue to patronise the usual place and seek solace in the waters of wisdom.

We can assure you that we will not tolerate anyone who comes mourning that they have failed to raise money for rentals, school fees, or whatever load they may be carrying for that is not our business to solve your financial mismanagement. The festive season has come and gone and we are aware of the largesse that was evident during this time and nobody gives a hoot how you did or did not and we do not want to be bothered at all. It’s game on and as they say in politics aluta continua.

Broke politicians

Stories are now awash that a large number of the big guys who were recently purged are now falling on hard times as they faced the reality of survival without depending on freebies. It is understood that their cellphones went dead the minute it was announced that they were no longer desirable, personal and domestic security was also withdrawn, chauffeurs were recalled and the free fuel well was also locked. Other undisclosed measures are reportedly under way and we will keep you posted. What a way to end (or is it begin) a year. By the way we do not shed any tears for this crew as they have had it well for some time and the proverbial feasts have now been turned into fasts that they have to cherish for some time.

While others will be cushioned by investments in business interests, it is regrettable that not many were doing well and others will inevitably turn to the soil to eke a living and sustain the standard they have been accustomed to over the years. There are those however who are still hopeful that the authorities will pardon them and be taken in following their pleas for leniency, but that seems a long short. And by the way were are reliably informed that more purges will soon be unveiled after the annual shut down.

Our thoughts and prayers are nonetheless with the lot as we embrace the New Year.

Jo’burg bound

Did anyone notice how the Diaspora factor failed to ignite the festive mood around the country? Granted that the spirit was not overflowing as it normally does this time of the year, but our brothers and sisters particularly those from across the Limpopo did not carry the swag that they normally exude in their GP number plates.

Could it be that their stay down South is no longer guaranteed because of the uncertainty surround their papers? They did not feel charged up as usual and the few that passed through the usual place had little to offer.

Statistics from Beitbridge show that the volume of traffic fell from as high as 40 000 people per day to less than 10 000 and most of those that came failed to last the entire festive period to rush back before the New Year ostensibly to sort out their papers. It’s not that we would go the lengths of labelling them as killjoy, but we expected much more considering that they have traditionally set the scene with their bling bling.

Whatsapp boob

Many people have landed themselves in trouble for cracking jokes that they did not mean. Of course the Acting First Lady jibe might quickly come to mind as it has landed some bigwig in trouble, there is this other politician from this other opposition party who has actually taken a colleague to court over a Whatsapp slur. She claims that she was insulted and labelled a mad woman before being mocked for her “funny” hair do.

The culprit who sent the message denies the charges and will have his day in court after securing $100 bail. The offending message was allegedly sent on a group chat for the opposition party meaning that it was a festive delight for the followers who had her for Xmas!

Suicide pact

Strange things continue to happen, and in this other part of the world, UK to be precise, a young couple decided to take their lives, leaving behind two children on Christmas Day in what is believed to have been a suicide pact because they were having financial problems. Life’s just too good for some of us and no amount of debt will ever drive us into such ominous decisions and we will definitely negotiate a payment plan even if we don’t stick to it.

We do not shed tears or lose sleep over such episodes and inasmuch as we empathise with the plight of some of our colleagues in foreign lands they should avoid absorbing foreign cultures and stick to the basics.

Chuckles

Sitting in the usual place the other day, I could not help overhearing some of these lighter moments:

Whats the difference between Amy Winehouse and Captain Morgan? — Captain Morgan comes alive when you add coke!

What did the bartender say after Charles Dickens ordered a martini? — “Olive or twist?”

What did the bartender say after a book walked into the bar? — “Please, no stories!”

Why did God invent Jameson whiskey? — So the Irish would never rule the world!

What do Russians get when mixing Holy Water with Vodka? — The Holy Spirit!

You know what’s fun about being sober? — Nothing.

What did the man with slab of asphalt under his arm order? — “A beer please, and one for the road.”

Keep laughing till next week, bottoms up!

 Facebook: Bra Gee, Email: [email protected], Twitter: @brageesbar