daniel chigunwe
Tariro Manamike
It is late Wednesday afternoon and you are already looking forward to leaving the office.
You have completed your tasks and cannot wait to pass through the gym and hang out with your friends after work. In fact, you are also planning your weekend away with your significant other. It has been a minute since you last spent quality time together. Then your boss calls you and your team to their office . . .
Boss: Tom, where is the report?
Tom: But you said it is due on Friday. It is only Wednesday.
Boss: Of course, I may have said that, but I need you to have things ready when I ask you to do them.
That reminds me, can we have a meeting at 5pm? No one should go home before we have the meeting.
We just need to talk about what happened with our client briefing today.
Tom: Can we not talk about it tomorrow? After all, we cannot change anything today, plus we are supposed to have a meeting tomorrow morning anyway.
Boss: And who are you to tell me that? I am tired of people who do not know what they are doing. You are constantly letting me down, and yet you are just supposed to do your job.
Boss: (continues) This is exactly what I mean by being hands-on. I have to oversee every little thing because none of you seem capable of doing anything right without my constant supervision.
You think I enjoy micromanaging? No, I have to, because you are all incapable of meeting my high expectations.
Sarah: But we are working as hard as we can. We stay late, we follow your instructions…
Boss: Instructions that you cannot seem to follow without nitpicking everything I say. I should not have to explain myself a hundred times. This is why I am detail-oriented. Yet, here I am, having to spell everything out for you.
Mike: It is not that we do not understand, it is just that sometimes your expectations are a bit . . . unrealistic.
Boss: Unrealistic? No, Mike. I expect excellence, and if that is too much for you, maybe you do not belong here. I’m passionate about this company and I need a team that is just as committed as I am.
Jane: We are committed, but working late every night and having last-minute meetings . . .
Boss: That is what being results-driven means. We have to be flexible and adapt. If you cannot handle the pressure, that is on you, not me. I need persistent, problem-solving individuals, not complainers who crumble under a bit of stress.
Tom: We are trying our best, but sometimes it feels like we are just not able to meet your standards no matter what we do.
Boss: My standards are high because I know what this team is capable of. If you feel like you are constantly falling short, maybe you need to look at your own performance. I’m tired of making excuses for all of you.
Sarah: It is hard to meet expectations when we are constantly being berated and second-guessed. A little support would go a long way.
Boss: Support? You think this is about support? This is about getting things done right. I have to be direct because apparently, subtlety does not work with this team. If being assertive makes me seem aggressive, so be it. We need to be competitive, not coddled.
Mike: We are not asking to be coddled. We just need some reasonable boundaries and realistic timelines.
Boss: Boundaries? Timelines? This is why I’m the strong leader here, not any of you. I have the vision to see what needs to be done, and if that makes me seem detached or overbearing, so be it. This is about results, not feelings.
Jane: But this constant pressure is making it hard to stay motivated. We are burning out.
Boss: Then maybe you need to re-evaluate if you are fit for this job. I need a resourceful team that can handle stress and push through. If you cannot handle my assertiveness, then maybe you are not cut out for this industry. I do not have time for anyone who is not fully committed and able to keep up.
Tom: We are here because we believe in the work, but we need a leader who believes in us too, not just in the results.
Boss: Belief is earned, Tom. Show me you can handle this, and maybe I will start believing in you. Until then, step up or step out. The meeting is at 5pm, and that is final.
This is a scene I have seen and experienced one too many times. I have asked myself if the individuals who are the perpetrators of toxicity are fully aware of their toxic traits, and I have come to the conclusion that they are not.
You see, toxic traits are often labelled or identified as something else, and below are some of the words which are different but can be construed to mean the same thing depending on who is talking.
Below are just a few of the toxic bosses that I have come across, either directly or through observation.
Maybe you will recognise yourself in them or someone else.
The Screamer
Trait: Loud and aggressive communication. Imagine your boss starts every meeting by shouting criticisms at the team, making everyone feel anxious and defensive.
This style of communication creates a tense and fear-driven environment where employees feel constantly on edge, unable to perform their best due to the constant stress.
The Blamer
Trait: Never takes responsibility and always finds someone to blame for mistakes. When a project deadline is missed, your boss immediately points fingers at you and your colleagues, never considering their own role in the delay.
This fosters a culture of fear and defensiveness, reducing team cohesion and morale as everyone tries to avoid being the next scapegoat.
The Ghost
Trait: Rarely communicates or is unavailable when needed. Your boss is often missing in action, never available for questions or guidance, leaving you to guess what to do next.
This leaves employees feeling unsupported and unsure about their tasks and performance, leading to confusion and inefficiency.
The Nitpicker
Trait: Overly critical of minor details, focusing on imperfections. Instead of acknowledging the successful completion of a major project, your boss fixates on a minor typo in a report.
This erodes employee confidence and motivation, as they feel their hard work is never appreciated and only their mistakes are noticed.
The Demander
Trait: Expects immediate compliance and has unrealistic expectations. Your boss assigns an enormous task late in the day and expects it to be completed by morning, regardless of the workload it adds. This causes high stress and burnout, pushing employees to their limits without regard for their well-being, ultimately leading to decreased productivity and morale.
As you go about your business this week, ask yourself if you are contributing negatively to your own bottom line because of your toxicity. Are you “hands-on” or just a micromanager who needs to get their hands off? Are you “detail-oriented” or nitpicking like a detective looking for fingerprints on a doughnut?
Remember, there’s a fine line between being a “strong leader” and a dictator. Let us aim to be passionate without turning into the office volcano and results-driven without driving everyone else off a cliff. If you recognise any of these traits in yourself, maybe it is time for a little self-reflection.
Book recommendation: “Toxic Workplace! Managing Toxic Personalities and Their Systems of Power” by Mitchell Kusy and Elizabeth Holloway.
Overview: This book provides insights into identifying and managing toxic behaviours in the workplace.
The authors offer strategies to handle toxic personalities and build a healthier work environment.
It combines real-life case studies with practical advice, making it a valuable resource for managers and employees alike.
Tariro Manamike is a seasoned media and public relations professional with over a decade of experience in broadcast journalism and strategic communication. She is passionate about human-centred design, business communication, and their impact on the bottom line. Tariro writes in her personal capacity and can be reached at [email protected]
Bongani Ndlovu