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Arthur Marara Point Blank
This is the final part of the relationships series. I will be working on new ones in the near future once the inspiration is near.
It is my hope and prayer that the previous articles have helped you in your relationships.
In the previous article I promised that I was going to cover what I call “Jonah Relationships.”
My contention is that marriage is spiritual, and that is why who you marry is very important, as he or she can determine how far you go in life. You will not go anywhere with a Jonah in your life.
Why write this series?
It really hurts me to see marriages and families falling apart. I am an attorney or lawyer by profession and do handle several divorce cases every time.
The pace at which people are divorcing is really alarming. Some people file for divorce after just few months into the marriage.
What would have gone so wrong that could not have been seen during the period before the wedding (which is the case with many people who want to follow the wedding tradition)?.
This is a question for some day, on why relationships or marriages fail. I believe that we can all contribute towards stronger families by making proper foundations for marriage.
Introspection
This part is going to be very uncomfortable! Have you ever compared where your life was before you got into a particular relationship or marriage?
There are two or three things that usually happen. It is either your life can be stagnant – no progress whatsoever; your life can move progressively forward or you can experience phenomenal growth.
You can also be worse than what you used to be before.
There are people whose lives moved from the first to the third category to a better level the moment they left a particular relationship and sadly even a marriage. You may not understand what I am talking about if you have never been through this. Ask anyone who has been through this situation and they will tell you this.
Meet Jonah
I want to introduce you to this gentlemen, and how we can get some lessons from his life.
Jonah was a prophet of God, who was given a specific assignment to go to Nineveh but rather decides to go to Tarshish. What was in Tarshish no one knows but certainly this was not the place he was supposed to go. He simply went there in a bid get away from the Lord. He actually gets transport to Tarshish and joins sailors. There is always transport even if you are going in the wrong direction.
The sailors did not know who this guy was and what he was running away from.
The Lord hurled a powerful wind over the sea, which threatened to tear the ship apart.
The sailors fearing for their lives shouted to their gods for help, and threw the cargo overboard to lighten the ship.
This did not calm down the storm. Eventually the decision was arrived at to throw Jonah into the sea, and Jonah went to Nineveh and succeeded in his mission.
What do Jonah relationships do?
A “Jonah” bankrupts you! That is the best word I can pick from the story of Jonah.
This also applies in a relationship. Remember, the introspection above about what a relationship can do in your life.
The sailors were far worse than what they used to before meeting Jonah.
Financial bankruptcy
The sailors were in business of transporting people and shipping cargo from point A to B.
Their relationship with their clients was to exercise a duty of care and to ensure that the goods arrived in good order. In the event that the goods did not arrive in such order, the sailors had an obligation to replace the goods entrusted to them.
Here comes Jonah. He buys a ticket. He does not even ask for a free ride.
This is the reason why some people are so disappointed in relationships because their “Jonah” even appeared innocent from the onset.
Looks are deceiving! Never judge the character merely by the way a person looks.
A number of relationships started merely by looks, and little did the people know that they were introducing a Jonah in their life.
The worrying part is that when Jonah comes into the ship, he causes so much trouble such that the sailors had to throw into the sea the very same things they were supposed to carry and deliver to Tarshish.
Had it not been for Jonah, the sailors would have made a profit.
In this instance, the sailors had to refund whatever money was paid for the cargo, and additionally factor in the replacement cost of the cargo. This was all because of a Jonah!
There are certain people who were so sound financially, until someone came into their life either through a relationship or eventually a marriage, when everything changed.
It will take some people years to recover from the serious financial effects of the Jonah present in their life.
There are some people who are in serious debt now because of a Jonah they introduced in their life.
There are spouses or partners who are incurring secret debts they cannot pay up, but expecting their partner to pay them. Jonah!
Emotionally bankruptcy
A Jonah will emotionally bankrupt you.
The sailors were so worried as to what was happening.
They tried everything within their power from praying to their gods, and even throwing the cargo into the sea.
Have you ever been so confused in a relationship or marriage, and sometimes you wonder whether it’s actually you in the wrong?
The sailors actually thought they were the ones who had a problem.
Some people in relationships and no longer want to be in another relationship.
They have been so emotionally scarred and have made a commitment that they will never marry again because of what they went through.
Spiritually bankruptcy
A Jonah even bankrupts you spiritually. Many people’s relationship with God has been compromised and seriously tested because of what they got themselves into. There are some relationships that make it hard to hear God speaking.
Physically bankruptcy
Some people have been maimed or killed by their partners. Newspapers are awash with cases of some gory takes of brutality and domestic violence. Some have permanent scars to remind them of their partners or spouses.
Health bankruptcy
Some Jonahs will even take your health. Some people have been left with permanent health conditions because of the persons whom they trusted and introduced in their life.
Jonah was harmless when he was boarding the ship. Even when the ship was in serious turmoil, Jonah was appearing harmless.
They only realised that Jonah was the problem when they cast lots and motivated a confession consequently.
I pray that the Lord will reveal a Jonah if ever in your life.
Jonahs pretend not to know anything
There is a rather painful part in the whole story when you are dealing with a Jonah.
“Fearing for their lives, the desperate sailors shouted to their gods for help and threw the cargo overboard to lighten the ship. But all this time Jonah was sound asleep down in the hold.” (Jonah 1:5 NLT).
Jonah is sleeping at a time when everyone is struggling to keep the ship afloat. He is not even bothered at all.
This is the worrying part. Jonah causes trouble, and costs people their fortune in the process but he is unbothered, and unmoved.
“So the captain went down after him. “How can you sleep at a time like this?” he shouted. “Get up and pray to your god! Maybe he will pay attention to us and spare our lives.”(Jonah 1:6 NLT)
Have you ever wondered, how some people cause troubles in marriages or a relationships, and are not even moved at all? They pretend not to know anything is happening.
There are some people who are arrogant when they are the ones causing problems in a relationship.
Jonah was a prophet of God. He knew WHO he was running away from, but pretended not to know anything.
The sailors were worried. They resorted to desperate measures; casting lots to see which of them had offended the gods and caused the terrible storm.
Jonah was then identified as a culprit.
Jonahs still arrive, but will cost you everything,
The sailors lost out, but Jonah still arrived at his destination. A fish took over and carried Jonah to where he was supposed to go. Sadly, Jonahs cost people their wealth.
Have you ever regretted meeting someone in your life? This is the stage sadly that some people are in right now. Some are in marriages they are regretting having entered into.
Some people had expensive weddings that took them lots of months and money to prepare, but all of a sudden, they want to give up all that.
There are some people who if given an option to choose a spouse again, would not choose the person that they are with right now.
Discover the Jonah around you
It’s possible to have problems without knowing their source.
If you are not married, this is more important as you may need to take preventative measures before you commit to a Jonah arrangement that will cost you more than just a heartbreak.
If you marry a ‘Jonah’ you can end up losing everything that you had while ‘Jonah” will still proceed with his or her journey.
To all the people who are single, it is better to break a relationship than to break a marriage.
Watch out for Jonah’s warning signs.
Do not be so immersed in “romance” and forget to look beyond the eye and see whether or not you are entertaining a Jonah.
Do not be a Jonah
Quite often many people do not want to admit that they are a problem when they are actually the Jonahs themselves.
Focus on becoming a blessing in your marriage or your relationship.
Arthur Marara is a corporate law attorney, keynote speaker, corporate and personal branding speaker commanding the stage with his delightful humour, raw energy, and wealth of life experiences. He is a financial wellness expert and is passionate about addressing the issues of wellness, strategy and personal and professional development.
Arthur is the author of “Toys for Adults” a thought provoking book on entrepreneurship, and “No one is Coming” a book that seeks to equip leaders to take charge.
Feedback to [email protected] or Visit his website www.arthurmarara.com or contact him on +263780055152 for bookings.
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