Boss got me pregnant

Dr Rebecca Chisamba

Mudzimba

Mother’s Day gone wrong

Dear amai, I need your help! This past Mother’s Day my siblings and I made contributions and planned to get our mother a gift to appreciate her on the big day. When I told her that we had a surprise, she said she did not want anything from us.

However, she said it was okay for us to visit. 

We went with our families and spent the day there, but she was very distant. My father seemed like he knew something, but he did not want to disclose it. 

My question now is, what transpired and how can we get to the bottom of it?

Response

Hello writer and thanks for writing in. I would like to commend you and your siblings for the effort to appreciate amai on Mother’s Day. 

The worry I have now is why she was bitter about it and flat out denied your gift? Has she always been someone who hates surprises or perhaps she wanted something specific that you did not get her? Either way, the day was ruined. 

Why beat about the bush, ask baba and if he says he also does not know, ask your mother yourself. You cannot right a wrong you know nothing about. 

I hope once she explains what exactly got her so worked up, you will be able to get over it as a family. 

I can tell from your letter that you love each other and will do anything to make it work.

***

I want out of my marriage

I am a woman in my early 30s and I have been married for the last six years. 

I never get to spend time with my husband because his father insists I stay with them at their rural home and help out. I am really pained by this and my husband is so scared to speak up to his dad. 

I am now thinking of leaving him and finding someone who will love me and value me. 

I have never spent more than three months with him. 

There is also a guy, here, that has a crush on me and I am beginning to sway towards him. 

Please help, how best can I resolve this? My family is still very upset about all of this; the setup is weird.

Response

Your story is sad and I hate how your father-in-law puts his needs first before those of his own son and his family. You are a young couple and must focus on bonding and growing together as a family. Your family has the right to be fed up.

Speak to your father-in-law directly and inform him politely that at this juncture you want to focus on your own family. 

Inform your husband first and if he does not have the courage to beat you to it, then do it yourself. I think you can try and resolve this before walking out. 

To be honest, I am shocked you even let it get this far. 

Six years is a long time to take orders. As for this other guy, do not entertain him, you are still married and committed to your husband. Let us focus on putting out one fire at a time. 

Take back your life, there is only one life to live and I am glad you are going to try and reclaim your freedom while you can.

***

Boss got me pregnant

Amai makadii? I am a live-in maid aged 32. I was having an affair with the father of the house, who is also my boss. I am now two months pregnant. 

The problem is that I already have a child who my parents are struggling to look after. When I told him, he started backtracking and is pushing his wife to fire me. 

I was on birth control until he encouraged me to stop taking family planning pills. What can I do now? 

I am really regretting the choices I made in the past; I never thought he would turn on me.

Response

Ndinofara kana muchifarawo. I will start by saying it is no use to cry over spilt milk. You betrayed the trust of your parents and this man’s wife. 

What you did was wrong and it has proven to have disastrous consequences. 

Reach out to your parents and inform them. I think you need to leave the house you are residing at because once his wife finds out, she may try to harm you. 

Once you are safe and back home get your relatives to mediate and try and resolve the matter. 

It is now a case of this man providing for his unborn child from now on until the child is a major. 

If he tries to refuse, you can even seek legal recourse. He has already shown you that it is going to be a bumpy road, filled with opposition, but this is the only way to go about it. 

To my fellow readers, please do not be pressured by people you work for to have relationships with them. 

Always try and extricate yourself from similar scenarios to avoid heartache. Stay strong for the sake of your child. I know you can find a way to make it work for the sake of the child.

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