Online Reporter
Laina Makuzha
LOVE by DESIGN
Can love really conquer all, can it conquer the challenges that distance poses for couples and what does it mean to have enduring love in today’s fast paced world? I will let those sink in . . .
Why all the questions you might wonder. Well, first things first, hearty greetings to you dear reader and welcome to beautiful October and to this week’s discussion brought on by a heavy heart from the stories of broken families,and suffering children that I have been reading lately.
This week I do emphathise with those couples doing their best in the trenches of love, against a strong current of modern trials. With the reality of the changing times and our world firmly perched as a “global village”, it is not uncommon for couples married or dating, to find themselves separated by miles due to work, studies, or other circumstances. What happens to love? And where children are involved, what happens to them in that reality? The latter is a topic on its own, close to my heart, that we shall delve in a separate discussion.
Many families and couples are living apart, with unconfirmed claims suggesting that over 3 million couples in the United States alone are in long-distance relationships. Whether fact or fiction, I see a picture of a whole community of individuals globally, in need of all kinds of support to keep their families intact or to build long lasting relationships.
On the ground some readers have shared their struggles with this challenging dynamic, like Sandy(not her real name) from Zvishavane, who writes, “I feel like I’m losing touch with my partner due to the distance — we barely have time to talk amidst our busy schedules and differing time zones. Ndaakufunga kuzvisiyawo ini . . . ” Another reader: ‘Tindo’ from Harare, echoes, “It was good the first 3 months I wont lie, but 6 months down the line, yah atoo ma1, the cracks are beginning to show, I worry that the miles between us will eventually drive us apart.”
These are young couples struggling to find their anchor in the relationships that have been blind-sided by long distance. Married couples too, face real tests in maintaining fidelity, responsibility and strength to carry on.
However, distance does not have to mean the end of love or family values. In fact, with commitment, communication, and creativity, long-distance relationships can thrive! I remember sharing some creative ways to maintain a close bond, it might be worthwhile to revisit that edition for a recap and for ideas to consider.
As the saying goes, “Absence makes the heart grow fonder.” I know there are those who would counter it with: “Out of sight,out of mind”, but this can be more a choice than a truth cast in stone. LDRs can foster deeper emotional connections, increased trust, and a stronger sense of commitment.
Keep hope alive
Couples can bridge the miles by leaning on regular communication, scheduling virtual dates, and sharing daily experiences. Technology has made it easier than ever before to stay connected — think video calling, messaging apps, and social media. By leveraging these tools and prioritising each other, couples can maintain a sense of closeness despite physical distance.
From a Christian perspective, long-distance relationships can be seen as an opportunity to demonstrate faith and trust in God’s plan. As Psalm 119:105 says, “Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path.”
Couples can draw strength and guidance from scripture, trusting that God’s presence can bridge any physical gap. My go-to scripture on love, 1 Corinthians 13, verse13, talks about the enduring power of love: “And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.” I find this a reminder that love can conquer challenges. The love must also be nurtured, as all this endurance does not just happen on its own.
Here are some resources to support long-distance relationships:
“The Long-Distance Relationship Survival Guide” by Laura Stafford — offers practical advice and strategies for maintaining healthy LDRs.
“Love in the Time of Algorithms” by Dan Slater — explores how technology impacts relationships and provides insights for navigating digital connections.
We have drawn much wisdom from this book in this column.
“The 5 Love Languages” by Gary Chapman – helps couples understand each other’s love languages, enhancing communication and intimacy across distances.
“Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment” by Amir Levine and Rachel Heller – provides insights into adult attachment styles, helping couples build stronger bonds despite physical distance.
“Communication Miracles for Couples” by Jonathan Robinson – offers practical tips for improving communication, essential for thriving LDRs.
Some quick take-aways:
Schedule regular virtual dates: Set aside dedicated time for video calls or online activities together.
Share daily experiences: Use messaging apps to share daily happenings, photos, or videos.
Practice gratitude: Express thankfulness for each other and the opportunities you have to connect.
Pray together: For Christian couples, praying together on video calls can strengthen spiritual bonds.
Celebrate milestones: Mark important dates and achievements together, even from afar.
Whether this topic resonates with you or not, I would love to hear from you, with tips, thoughts or perhaps experiences on long-distance relationships. We can actually build a community of support and encouragement for couples bridging the miles. Protect that love. Protect the children too.
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