Bullying is every parent’s biggest fear

Beatrice Tonhodzayi-Ngondo Make A Difference
MY tearful nephew called me recently. He is one of the many that started Form One two weeks ago with a great deal of excitement.After seven years of primary education at the same school, the young man was so excited to be embarking on this new journey of secondary education and boarding school.

Before he left for school, he tried on his new uniform and shoes so that I would see how good he looked in them.
He also showed off his sports kit and many other things his mother had sacrificed to buy.

His food supplies for the term were sorted and I remember patting his mother on the back and applauding her for going all out for her boy.
My sister is a single mother and I imagined just how much she had sacrificed to ensure that her son would not be found wanting.
Everything was in order.

You can imagine how shocked I was to get a call from him in tears. Alarm got me rooted to the same spot as I tried to calm him and get him to tell me what was wrong.

He then recounted a sordid tale of bullies who were terrorising not just him but several other Form One pupils as well.
He said he did not want to call his mother because this would upset and stress her.

Thus he had decided to call his go-getter, fearless Aunty (I swelled at that) to advise on the best course of action.
According to the boy, the bullies were taking some of the tastier and exclusive foodstuffs from the Form Ones and also making them do some outrageous things such as washing their dirty socks, carrying their books on their heads, walking back and forth carrying heavy pieces of furniture in the night and doing some crazy exercises before they could go to bed.

He complained that some Form Ones had their money confiscated while others had some stationery taken away.
The adventure he had envisioned before setting off for Form One is definitely not what the young man got as soon as it was lights out at the boarding school.

Of course, being the feisty aunty trusted by the child, the very next day I was at the school and told the authorities in no uncertain terms that bullying of any child that belongs in my family or any other family for that matter would not be tolerated.

Any backlash on the Form Ones, especially the one who is of my lineage, would lead to every paper running with the name of the school, screamed this injured lioness.

The thought of what the boy’s mother would go through, knowing that her little boy was not as safe as she had saved up for, drove me to call for the safety and protection of the children by those who should offer these services; at all costs.

There are many cases of bullying in our schools and sadly at times school authorities actually sweep them under the carpet.
Already, some schools here in Harare are being fingered in cases of bullying.

What worries me is why parents would murmur about bullying and leave it at that.
Do we want to see some pupils die before we take this issue as seriously as we should?

Why do teachers and headmasters tolerate such practices?
Why sweep cases under the carpet until the whole thing blows up in our faces? What do we care more for; a name or the well-being of the children under our care?

Does the name not come from the well-being of the children in the system, which in turn leads to a better and improved performance by the pupils?

Is it not fact that pupils perform better when they are comfortable and in a conducive environment.
Once a pupil is stressed for some reason or other, their performance is likely to suffer. Some can even become physically ill, reclusive and anti-social while others can become suicidal.

Children that bully others need to understand that what they do is wrong. No child should become a law unto themselves.
Complaints have been raised about some prefects who take their duties too far and turn into bullies instead. While prefects have the enviable role of assisting in the maintenance of discipline and order in the school, they should never be allowed to taunt, beat, confiscate rashly and force other pupils to do that which is inhumane and risky to the pupil’s health or safety.

The call therefore is for parents everywhere to ensure that they raise children who do not bully others. Parents should also aim to raise children who speak out when something bad happens.

Do you know that the reason why abusers are successful is because they succeed at making the abused children keep quiet?
If the children are raised to speak out and not to take heed of anyone’s crazy talk such as threats, then many of the problems facing us today will disappear.

Teachers and school heads should not be defensive when alerted about abuse.
Instead, they should nip the practice in the bud and show commitment towards ending bullying and any other forms of abuse.
Bullying is abuse, and not some glorified rite of passage into anything.

Bullying is wrong and harmful.
Any forceful or coercive and potentially damaging practice (whether it has been in existence for years for all newcomers or has just started) is bullying and should stop.

Let schools be centres of learning excellence and not halls of torture. Those schools, whose names have already been fingered, should redeem themselves or risk losing their good names forever.

Parents should not apologise for asking or ascertaining their children’s safety. The difference may very well be in speaking out, as I found out at my nephew’s school. Children deserve a safer environment.

That is a right.

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