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As they develop, teenagers will experience a range of emotions and express themselves in many different ways.
It is normal for teenagers to be moody and to show some disrespect and defiance as they go through hormonal changes and a period of brain development during puberty.
Teenagers may also be short-tempered as they naturally begin to seek privacy and independence. They may begin spending more time with their peers or lock themselves in their room away from their parents.
It is important that parents and other caregivers provide support when a teenager is maturing and gaining independence.
Guiding a teenager, setting boundaries and forming positive relationships will help them through the challenges of adolescence.
Signs and symptoms
What one family finds challenging, another family will find acceptable. You and your family will have different ranges of what is acceptable when it comes to behaviour. However, some common issues during adolescence include:
Defiance and being argumentative with parents or siblings
Disrespectful towards others in the family (e.g. talking back, name calling)
Fluctuations in emotions and being moody
Aggressive or violent behaviour.
Mental health in teenagers
Although challenging behaviours and changes in mood are a normal part of adolescence, knowing what is normal and recognising signs of concern is important.
Emotional periods and challenging behaviours should not last more than a few days; if feelings of sadness, anxiety or frustration are continual then you should speak to your teenager about your concerns.
It is natural for teenagers to want to disengage from their families and spend more with their friends or participating in extra-curricular activities.
However, if you notice that your child is withdrawing from all social interactions and no longer enjoys participating in activities they once enjoyed, this may be of concern.
What causes challenging behaviour?
As teenagers mature, they are presented with new experiences. The way teenagers’ brains develop means that they may feel emotions very intensely, and they often do not yet have adequate coping tools to deal with their feelings. As a result, teenagers can often be very sensitive, self-conscious, and experience a range of emotions that at times can be overwhelming – these feelings are then often expressed by being argumentative or disrespectful towards others.
The part of the brain involved in self-control, the frontal cortex, is not fully developed until people are well into their 20s, which means that teenagers can face challenges in self-management and decision-making.
Sometimes challenging behaviours can also be a result of stressful or worrying events such as a fight with a friend, an upcoming test, feeling that they do not have the right clothes to wear.
When looking at challenging behaviours in teenagers it is important to consider their current situation and how it may be affecting them.
Some other important factors that have an impact on behaviour include:
Lack of sleep
Poor diet
Too much screen time
Mental health.
Sometimes, ongoing challenging behaviour can indicate other health issues.
How you can help
There a number of strategies that can be used to help combat challenging behaviours that emerge during adolescence:
Positive relationships
Building resilience in teenagers and the development of coping skills will help them to overcome difficult situations. Having strong, positive relationships and spending time with your child is key to building resilience.
You can promote positive behaviours in your teenager by:
Encouraging healthy habits in diet, exercise and adequate sleep
Listening to concerns in a compassionate way and allowing your teenager to speak uninterrupted
Problem-solving together with your teenager and asking them if they would like to hear your opinion or advice before offering it to them
Showing interest in what’s happening in their life and celebrating achievements
Encouraging talking about emotions or problems, and checking-in to make sure there’s nothing they are particularly stressed or worried about
Spending time with your teenagers one-on-one and together as a family.
If you find it difficult to have a positive relationship with your teenager, or there is often tension between you, another adult you trust (e.g. an aunt, family friend or sports coach) may be able to offer their support and be a positive role model for your child.
Try to defuse heated arguments
Arguing with your teenager rarely produces a positive outcome and being angry during a discussion usually ends up in heated argument and produces no or undesired outcomes.
Avoid starting arguments – ignore little things like shrugs or the rolling of eyes if your teenager is otherwise behaving in an acceptable way.
Avoid nagging your teenager – they often tune out and stop listening and this generally only increases your frustration.
If the argument is between siblings, get both children to voice their problems, look at what the conflict is about and encourage them to resolve the argument or compromise on their own before stepping in.
Defuse heated arguments, rather than provoking or worsening the situation (e.g. listen to their opinion, allow your teenager to speak uninterrupted and to find a solution or resolution to the problem).
Try to stay calm even if your child reacts with attitude or talks back.
Reduce the tension in an argument by using humour to change the tone of an argument, but avoid mocking or sarcastic language.
If an argument is becoming heated, walk away and come back to continue the discussion when you are both calm. Teenagers are more likely to be reasonable and respond positively in a calm discussion.
If heated arguments happen regularly, and your teenager finds it difficult to control their frustration or anger, it may be helpful for them to seek support from a counsellor, who may offer an independent or unbiased view and recommend new ways to deal with the anger. – The Royal Children’s Hospital Community Information, Department of Adolescent Medicine, and The RCH Child Health Poll
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