Chronicle Editor
Hi Sis Noe
I hate my husband for a lot of hurts that he put me through, but I don’t know what to do about it. Help
Reply
There are so many women in the same situation you are in right now. Also, probably every woman that has ever been in a long-term relationship or a marriage will have felt like this at some point. So, don’t think that the situation you are going through is specific just to you. Don’t compare your marriage to other marriages because this isn’t going to help — they are probably feeling the same or definitely have at some point. It is pretty much guaranteed that we will feel like we hate our husbands at some points in our marriage. It’s only natural because you are spending so much time with someone. Living with someone can be really tough anyway, then if you add on the pressure of being married to them, you can feel restricted and annoyed. This is understandably so. However, a lot of the time, the hate that you think you are experiencing is actually another emotion masking itself. If you really hated your husband, you wouldn’t have written a letter to me, you would have left him behind already and moved on. I am not trying to belittle the way you feel, but it can be something else other than hate, even if you might think it feels the same. Many emotions make us feel similar to hate, but they are not hate. I am quietly confident that unless you feel burning rage towards him and wish him ill, then you probably don’t actually hate him. This is good news because then all you need to do is figure out what emotion you are feeling towards him and why it is trying to mask itself as hate. Now that I have mentioned that hiding underneath the external hate is probably a deeper and less intense set of emotions, it’s time to figure out what they are. This requires you to be really honest and open with yourself, your emotions and your marriage. You must identify what makes you loathe your husband before you can do anything to work on it.
Hi Sis Noe
My husband is no longer interested in me sexually. What is wrong with me?
Reply
You might have been in your marriage for a while and your husband might suddenly not seem interested in having sex with you. This can really hurt. You might feel like you have done something wrong, or that he is simply not attracted to you anymore. I can assure you, you have probably not done anything wrong, and he is still attracted to you. There are many reasons why he seems not interested and they include biological problems, performance anxiety, health issues, masturbation, and problems in your marriage. Sometimes, the lack of sex that is happening between the two of you is just a reflection of how healthy your relationship is. Have you been arguing a lot or is there something you are both very upset about? If you have recently come across a problem in your relationship or there was a big disagreement, your man might not want to make love to you, because that’s just not he is feeling at the moment. In addition to this, nothing major might have happened between you, but your relationship might just not be going so well at this moment in time. Every relationship has its ups and downs, and maybe you are both just in a downstage. If you have stopped seeing eye to eye and you’re just bickering more, then your man isn’t going to want to have sex with you. Also, if you haven’t had sex in a long time already, he might feel nervous to initiate anything. He might just think the two of you are going to be in a sexless relationship, and although he probably won’t be happy about this, he could have got to the point of not even caring. There is also a possibility that he is having sex with someone else. Obviously, this is a really horrible idea and I hope this isn’t the reason that your husband doesn’t want to have sex with you. However, it could be true. If your man is getting action elsewhere, he won’t want to, or won’t have the energy to have sex with you too. He might be cheating on you with multiple people in the form of one-night stands or is having an affair with one other person. I don’t want to scare you, but there are a lot of possible reasons for his behaviour. I suggest you sit him down and talk about it.
Hi Sis Noe
I am a single mother aged 36, gainfully employed. I am looking for a man who is gainfully employed or self-employed. I do not have time for men who want to play. I need a man who wants a serious relationship, a man who will value the love that I will give, a man who will love me back. I am based in Bulawayo.
I am a single lady aged 33, slim and a bit tall but not overly tall. I have a good job and I am on the lookout for a man who is a goal getter, a man with a vision and a mission. The man must be employed and able to complement me as I don’t believe in depending on a man. I am based in Bulawayo and as such the man must be from within the city. The man must be God fearing and open to settling down.
I have heard of your good works and I was hoping that you can help me find my soulmate. I am looking for a tall, bearded guy with a good job. He should be financially stable and have a good fashion sense. I am a beautiful young lady aged 23 and I am based in Bulawayo.
I am a 41-year-old man who is gainfully employed and HIV-negative. I have two kids. I need a genuine, trustworthy, innocent, patient, caring, mature, hardworking and beautiful lady with a strong rural background for marriage. She should be aged 28 to 32, employed, with or without a child. She should be prepared to live in both urban and rural areas. She should be from Matabeleland and must value marriage and the spirit of ubuntu.
I am searching for a single, mature lady ready to settle down, aged 30 to 36. I am 39 years old and self employed as a mechanic. I am a father of two.
I am a man who is employed as a waiter. I am aged 27 and I am looking for a lady who wants a serious relationship. I am based in Bulawayo.
I am a salesman aged 33, I am looking for a lady aged 20 to 25 who wants a relationship that will lead to marriage. I do not want chancers. The lady can have one child at least.
Reply
For the phone numbers of the singles above, please text using the WhatsApp platform. Do not call and do not use the SMS platform. The WhatsApp number is 0773111328. Good luck.
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