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Hi Sis Noe
I CAUGHT my boyfriend having sex with another woman. To make things worse I am pregnant with his child. I have never been unfaithful to him and I thought he was serious because he gave me a spare key to his house. We have been together for five years. — Devastated.
Reply
Your boyfriend is very careless. You have been together for five years. He gave you his house keys, and by doing so, he was telling you that you can come and go as you wish. No other woman in your position would have that privilege. I am sure that you felt very special. You were not expecting another woman to be there when you went to visit him. I am glad that you all did not have a fight. You have to decide now what to do with this man. I can’t tell you to leave him because you are carrying his child. What I would suggest is that both of you need to work things out. Please, don’t let anything stress you out, so to speak. I am sure you don’t want to lose your baby. Now that the girl, who was in bed with him, knows that he has a serious relationship with you, she may back off, but don’t be surprised if she doesn’t. This man needs to apologise to you. But, please, do not lower your standard by getting into an argument with the girl who was in bed with him.
Hi Sis Noe
My mother is a bad parent; she sleeps with different men for money at our house. Recently I have started sleeping with one of her men because he gives a lot of money. I know it’s wrong but I don’t know how to stop and I don’t know if I should tell my mother. — Help.
Reply
You consider your mother a bad woman, but you are just as bad. Your mother has not set any good example for you. You knew that your mother was having an intimate relationship with this man, and yet you have been going to bed with him. Your mother sells sex and you are doing the same. And there are special names for women who sell sex. I believe you come from a poor family and you are desperate for money. Therefore, selling yourself to this man becomes an easy option. It is time for you to stop. Consider all that you have done as a big mistake. Stick with your poor boyfriend — if you don’t have one get one. If he does not have much don’t be dissatisfied, a good relationship is not based on how much money a man can give a woman. If you want your mother to hate you, you can tell her that you have been having sex with her man. My suggestion is that you keep your mouth shut.
Hi Sis Noe
I am an 18-year-old girl and I have a problem. My boyfriend is 25 and seems only interested in having sex with me. I don’t think he loves me. After we have sex he is always in a hurry for me to leave his flat. — Confused.
Reply
You don’t need me to tell you that your boyfriend is having a relationship with you for one reason only. And that is for you to satisfy his sexual desires. He is 25 and you are 18. He doesn’t see any reason to have you for anything else but sex. He might even have another girlfriend who visits him, and that could be the reason why he is always in a hurry to have sex with you and then for you to leave. He doesn’t want any of his girlfriends to come and see you there. I hope that you are not having unprotected sex with him. If you are, you should thank God that he has not impregnated you. His attitude should tell you he does not care about you and that this relationship is not going anywhere. Therefore, you should move on. End the relationship with him. Block him. Delete his number and never talk to him again.
Hi Sis Noe
I am 22 this year, I am worried and need your help. I am experiencing painful sex and itching in my vagina. I experience an unpleasant odour if I take long to shower. I went to the doctor five times and got treatment four times. The first time I went the doctor said I have chlamydia. He has been treating me ever since and I am still not cured. — Help.
Reply
I am sure the doctor did not do anything wrong. According to scientists, chlamydia is a very serious disease and should not be taken lightly. I don’t know where you got the impression it can be easily cured. It can be cured, but it is not like a common cold. And, although I do not wish to scare you, I can tell you that if it is not taken in hand, so to speak, it can cause infertility. I would suggest that you abstain from sex and that you work with the doctor and follow his/her advice and not expect instant cure. The cure will come, but it will take time. Use condoms.
Hi Sis Noe
I am 25 years old and when I was 19 my uncle raped me. I have gotten over the rape but as a result I struggle to have any meaningful relationship because I am afraid of men and sex. Now I have a man who loves me and wants to marry me. I don’t know what to do but I don’t want to lose him. — Worried.
Reply
I want you to know that not all men are rapists and real men would love to know that the man who raped you will languish in prison. You made a big mistake by not reporting him to the police when he raped you. This man you call uncle is a wicked beast. I understand why you did not report him. You were afraid, and he threatened you, I am sure. I know that it has been years since this incident occurred, but I believe that what you need is to make an appointment to see a psychologist for therapy. And you need to report your uncle. No one who rapes another should go unpunished. Many questions would be raised such as: why have you waited so long to report him?
You say that you hate all men and yet there is this young man who loves you. You seem to have a little opening in your heart for him. You admire this guy but you are afraid that he may ask many questions that you may not wish to divulge. Discuss this matter with a psychologist. I want to assure you that you have not done anything wrong and while you are so very hurt over what happened, with therapy you can deal with the matter. When you are very comfortable with yourself, learn to go on dates and the time may come when there will be so much peace in your heart that you can mention it to a man who would be very understanding and marry you.
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