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are partitioned by curtains, has also been attributed to breakdown in the social fabric.
The moral and social fabric breakdown has been experienced in disjointed families that have been decapitated by various ills bedevilling the communities including poverty, unemployment, diseases such as HIV and Aids among others.
However, one of the social ills that have seen an unprecedented rise is the breakdown in the marriages after reported and unreported marital problems.
In some instances, spouses resort to violence in cases where they discover that one’s partner has been in a promiscuous relationship leading to serious consequences.
While violence has never been a solution, many social commentators believe that if one cannot control their emotions and overreacts leading to injury to a spouse or a partner, this could lead to many problems.
The local media has been awash with stories of a husband axing a wife’s lover, a man fatally stabbing a suspected wife snatcher or a wife scalding her husband over suspected infidelity. The list is endless.
Mrs Lucia Gunguwo, who is popularly known as Mai Gunguwo and is a renowned counsellor in marital matters, argues that men are more promiscuous and respond more violently when their spouses cheat on them than women.
She says the Bible states that people should “avoid eating the forbidden fruit in the middle of the garden no matter how pleasing to the eye it is”.
“The body parts in between your thighs should not be seen nor enjoyed by anyone else other than your spouse.”
Mai Gunguwo said a person reacts violently because of the level of betrayal as someone was finding pleasure in touching and playing with their spouse’s forbidden fruit.
“Men are more violent than women because their physical strength tends to mislead them to resort to violence in the event their spouses have committed adultery.”
She adds: “Some women cheat because their spouses are incompetent in bed. Since no one has seen or experienced her husband’s poor performance, no one can understand or vouch for what she is going through. To make matters worse, the husband does not even want to talk about the problem.”
University of Zimbabwe lecturer Professor Claude Mararike argues that society has never allowed men and women to sleep around.
He, however, pointed at five factors that drive spouses to react violently towards their cheating partners.
“Spouses respond violently in the event they discover their partners have cheated on them because they fail to control the emotions that overwhelm them whether male or female. It is also something that has to do with the upbringing, socialisation and the catechism their got when got into marriage,” he said.
Professor Mararike said some react to what they were told to expect in a marriage by their parents, aunts and uncles.
“Catechism should have told them that when they get married such things happen and when your spouse cheats on you, you do not get an axe to chop them. You would have been prepared to respond in a reasonable manner that when your emotions want to overpower you, you go back to your teachings,” he said.
Prominent talk show host Mai Rebecca Chisamba had no kind words for people who cheat on their spouses saying the cheaters lack true love for their spouses while they do not love the same person they are cheating with.
“They do so out of lust for material things and sexual pleasure from another person. Love is progressive not retrogressive and as a couple in a relationship, they should know where they are coming from and going in terms of marriage, finances, children and future,” she said.
“However, when a spouse cheats on a partner, the best way to deal with such issues is to discuss the reasons behind such unfortunate events while avoiding violence. If the experience of a spouse who has cheated has hurt you beyond reconciliation, the best thing to do would be to walk out of that relationship.”
Harare resident Mr Edin Madungwe argued that cheating can hurt a spouse such that he or she would lose it all leading to violent acts.
“Matters of the heart are complicated and cannot be explained by reasonable means. If your spouse has never cheated on you, one may never fully understand the pain that would drive the affected partner to such extreme lengths and become violent,” he said.
Mrs Gladys Mugabe from Plainham Farm, however, believes cheating men and women should receive the same treatment.
She urged people to be faithful and also to find satisfaction with what they have and not lust for other things.
“In life you do not get everything you want or desire. When two people get married they vow to be together for better or worse, so married couples should practise what they preach and desist from these carnal thoughts of immorality.”
Mr Lewis Pongo said the best course of action to take when a spouse has cheated is to divorce because the cheating spouse could bring diseases into the relationship.
“When your wife commits infidelity the best way to deal with this situation is to go the courts and divorce because she will infect you with diseases such as HIV and Aids.”
Most people agree that the demonic perspective is also a good explanation why people commit infidelity, attributing their immoral behaviour to spiritual forces that drive them to be promiscuous and unfaithful.
Infidelity leads to dire consequences such as the disintegration of the marriage, death or serious casualties emanating from violent eruptions. Children eventually become the first victims of their parents’ infidelity and violent conduct.
Research has shown that children who come from broken families would not find it easy in life. Infidelity and violence drive out happiness from the family leaving animosity and bitterness between family members.
More education is required to stress out the importance of a stable family so that people know the value of a stable family.
Some hearts can be healed and lost love can still be rekindled henceforth, couples who experience sexual betrayal by their partners should collectively go together for counselling and not resort to violence.
In our social set-up, we have professionally trained counsellors, churches and senior family members that counsel us about our behaviour to sober up from the violent urges and talk in dignified manner the way forward.
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