Online Reporter
Mthokozisi Ncube
WHEN a man walks into a police station with a black eye, a broken lip or bruises on his body, the first reaction for the general public can sometimes be laughter.
“Utshaywe ngumama?”
For some men, that question is enough to make them swallow their pain and walk away.
But behind the jokes and embarrassment are men who are also victims of gender-based violence (GBV), trapped in abusive relationships and often too ashamed to ask for help.
GBV disproportionately affects women and girls, and that reality must never be minimised. Zimbabwe’s 2023-24 Demographic and Health Survey found that 27 percent of women aged 15 to 49 had experienced physical violence since age 15, while nine percent had experienced sexual violence.
Yet men can also be victims.
UNFPA has previously documented male survivors accessing GBV services in Zimbabwe. In one Hopley surveillance programme, 122 of 695 reported GBV cases were male, including cases of physical, sexual, emotional and economic violence.
And that is where the uncomfortable conversation begins.
A man may be slapped, kicked, threatened, humiliated, controlled financially or subjected to emotional abuse by a partner, but reporting it can feel like admitting failure.
For some, masculinity becomes a prison.
They have been taught that men must be strong, men must provide and, above all, men must never be victims.
So they suffer quietly.
Some fear that police officers will not take them seriously. Others fear being ridiculed by friends and relatives. Some worry that admitting they are being abused will make them appear weak.
The result?
Silence.
Zimbabwe has made progress in strengthening services for GBV survivors. In 2024, more than 17 000 survivors accessed life-saving services through mobile one-stop centres, shuttle services, the national GBV hotline and public health facilities in UNFPA-supported provinces.
The challenge is ensuring that the message of support reaches every survivor, regardless of sex.
A man seeking help is not betraying masculinity.
He is protecting himself.
He is also potentially protecting his children, who can be deeply affected by violence and toxic relationships in the home.
And society needs to stop turning male suffering into entertainment.
A woman beating a man is not automatically funny. A man being emotionally manipulated is not automatically a joke. A husband being controlled through money, threats or humiliation is still experiencing abuse.
The answer is not to create a competition between male and female victims.
It is to recognise that GBV has different faces, while maintaining a clear focus on the groups most affected.
Men need safe spaces to speak.
They need services that listen without judgement.
Most importantly, they need to know that asking for help does not make them less of a man.
Because sometimes the strongest man in the room is the one brave enough to finally say:
“Ngiyahlukunyezwa. I need help.”
