adminAnne Ruthenburg Weddings
HELLO there, people, I hope you are all well this week especially because it is the week of love, kikiki.
This week, people, I thought I would add you to a conversation I had with some friends the other day at a braai. The discussion was on the origins of Valentine’s Day. In fact, the conversation got very intense at some stage, so I got up and served chocolate cake before it was ready to be served so that I could defuse the situation, kikiki.
I think men felt like women were making them feel guilty if they did not buy them something or separate Valentine’s Day with their women.
Women on the other hand felt like men were failing to accept the fact that Valentine’s Day is a special day for many women.
For me, I felt like both were right and wrong. I think Valentine’s Day is like any other commercial holiday. In general, it is usually ladies who want to celebrate the holiday, but men find that it drains their finances.
On the other hand, there are many men out there who love to celebrate Valentine’s Day and they really get into the groove of it. One of the men in the group is actually flying his wife to Cape Town for a Valentine’s weekend – imagine that! I say – go for it, bro. If you can afford it, enjoy it. But then there was another guy there who claims to always be buying stuff for his woman, so why should he have to have a special day to do what he normally does? Oh well, I guess it is a point again.
Another guy just said he had no money to do anything and that was that. He said his woman knows he loves her and that’s that. Oh my!
After chocolate cake, people calmed down a bit and this was where I tried to give some wisdom. I do not know if anyone was listening by then, with all the sulking women and irritated men– but here goes!
No one really knows the true reason for Valentine’s Day. The one story I got was about a saint who had married thousand of people while in jail. Another is a womaniser who sent roses to all the women he liked on the same day. The other is about an angel whose entire job is once a year to bless lovers or answer their requests. Honestly people I do not know and seriously I do not know if that is the issue here. As far as we understand Valentine’s Day is a day we find an excuse to go the extra mile to show love.
It is wrong for people to think that Valentine’s Day is only for lovers. What happens then to all those singles out there? And what about the widows who have lost their special one, the single mother who was dumped by the father of their child or the single person who can’t seem to find love. It is also not just a man to woman thing; there is nothing wrong with girls giving Valentine’s presents to their male loved ones.
To me, true love is shared across families, friends, associates and the like. I am not talking about sex here, people. I am talking about expressing one of the four love types I spoke to you about a few months ago.
So when I think about it the arguments we get ourselves involved in, they are useless really. They are not justified because the day is an excuse to show love, but it is not an excuse to hold back either. It is never about the money, it is about showing appreciation – except for the person who puts a monetary value to love – then it is not true love.
I remember my niece when she was little. She made a homemade Valentine’s card for me on bond paper. I treasured that little card for years and years – it meant more than shoes (and that is crazy because I love shoes).
But then one Valentine’s Day I was flown to Victoria Falls by someone who at the time was just a best friend – imagine. Both meant everything to me.
The point is, people, if you have the time and the money to do something special – will it kill you do it? No! If you do not have the money, that is fine. But is that an excuse not to do something? If you can buy airtime, I think you can find something in town (thanks to our Chinese friends) for the cost of airtime. That just means you can’t call her to say happy Valentine’s, kikiki, but at least she will have your gift. Oh and of course if you really have no money, there are flowers growing all over the city – open your eyes, pick a few and hand deliver them personally to your loved one, whether it is your mother, sister, lover, husband, etc.
And if all these fail, just tell him or her you love them (I don’t mean lust or sex). Just say it without expecting a response. Now do not be like a client I have who just could not hold himself – so he told me this week that he was in love with me and would die for me. Well, by the time he was finished (I was polite and listened to him), then I gently told him that he might die for me sooner than he planned if my man heard him say that nonsense to me. Lol! I do not know what goes into other people’s minds seriously!
So no doubt there will be a fair number of fights on Valentine’s Day because of silly people who use the day as an excuse to try and win over other men’s women. But for those who are wise – there is nothing wrong with doing a good deed on Valentine’s Day. And by the way, if I have not said it already – it is not just about men giving gifts, it is also about women giving gifts.
I shall be taking some roses to the ladies that faithfully serve me when I go shopping. I can’t pay them, but I can certainly show them I have noticed their good deeds.
With that I say . . .
HAPPY VALENTINE’s DAY . . . Love you all!
God bless.
◆ Anastasia can be messaged only on 0772 933 845.
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