Domestic violence: A thorn for Zim

Lovemore Meya Features Writer
Despite concerted efforts by Government and its civil partners who include the media to educate people on the evils of domestic violence, courts in Zimbabwe continue to record rising numbers of such cases.
The increase in the number of cases of domestic violence has also been recorded at police stations across the country where some of these are resolved without going to court.

This, according to experts, indicates that there is a missing link, an important aspect of life that should be used in addressing issues of domestic violence.

People’s behaviour, they say, is determined by the way they are born and socialised and these have a major effect on how they view things and how they react to different situations.

As the old adage goes, “charity begins at home”. Behaviour, whether good or bad, starts at home and its persistence depends on how it is promoted or discouraged. If a child is taught to appreciation life’s virtues and values, he or she will learn to live harmoniously with other people in society and the reverse is also true.

The upsurge in cases of domestic violence has been attributed to societal norms, which view women and girls as objects. Chief among the norms is the payment of lobola, which has led men to turn their lovely wives into properties by virtue of marriages, especially in customary unions. Hence, it would be headline news for a woman to be dragged to court for assaulting her husband.

In a sad love story, a Chiweshe woman Losca Mabvindi (24) last year bared all at Chief Negomo’s court claiming that her parents endorsed her illicit affair with another man while her marriage was still subsisting.

Even celebrities have also been caught on the wrong side with Douglas Chimbetu’s backing vocalist and dancer, Ngonidzashe Mucheche (30) receiving a thrashing from his sister-in-law for confronting a married man he suspected of cheating with his wife. However, experience proved to be the best teacher for some men who reformed after learning the hard way that “crime does not pay”.

A Sunset Sam Levy Farm security guard in Zvimba, Biggie Chihuri was, however, able to restrain himself after he returned from work and found his wife Sibongile Muvharo bedding his friend Tonderai Murotero.

He said, “I controlled my emotions otherwise I could have attacked him (Murotero). I engaged both of them and they confessed to have been cheating for almost a year.”

Chihuri put behind his challenges and relocated with his wife to safeguard his family.

A Ruwa woman is leading a miserable life because of her abusive husband.

Elliard Sauka used to bring home his girlfriends accusing his wife Hilda Kasinamunda of not being a good kisser.

Sauka did this in line with the social norm that as head of the family, he had the right to have as many wives as he could regardless of the dangers associated with sexual transmitted infections, including HIV and Aids.

Judging by these incidents, men have found it easy to exert justice on their cheating partners on the basis that the women are benefiting financially from the unions or the former paid lobola for them.

Social commentators believe there is need to reach a consensus before engaging in physical confrontations.

Albert Nyathi, a member of the United Nations Artists Advisory Council, said the organisation’s mandate is to eliminate violence of whatever nature on women and girls.

He urged people to desist from taking the law into their own hands to settle disputes.

“People should just find it easy to part ways with a cheating partner because they should be thankful that the Lord wanted them to see what their spouse is doing.”

He said in most cases women and girls are at the receiving end and if luck enough, cheat death. Some have not been luck and have died as a result of the assaults. He said lobola was also being used as pretext to abuse women.

“The idea behind paying lobola is bringing together two families, for creating relations. Men should not look at women as commodities of exchange,” Nyathi said.

A Harare lawyer said it was within our culture for a man to discipline his wife and in such cases if a woman reports the abuse to her relatives, they will always chastise her for bad behaviour.

“It is never justified for anyone of the two parties to perpetrate violence against one another if they are having problems, but to solve their differences amicably,” she said.

“Creating women or men’s forums can be helpful within an endeavour to catch them young especially on teaching them ways to solve problems peacefully,” she said.

Padare national director Mr Kelvin Hazangwi said oppression was the main problem associated increasing cases of violence. Padare is a men’s forum on gender issues.

“Oppression has become the major cause of concern because if women are treated equally both in private and public institutions we can solve violence.

“The same respect should cascade to homes, families, marriage institutions since man will try to justify their actions by claiming that they are the heads of their families.

“For instance, it is permissible for a man to cheat and not for a woman to do the same. Men will always buttress their actions on polygamy as it was always the norm in our culture.”

He said if people learn to treat each other equally violence can be eradicated. He called on both men and women to sit down and discuss the social practices that are disadvantageous and come up with practical solutions.

TV personality and social commentator Amai Rebecca Chisamba said the problem was with people putting emotions ahead of anything else. She encouraged people to go back to the drawing board and learn to take the proper channels in solving their problems.

“Many people end up justifying their violent behaviours on the death of communication within the family. In the past we used to have our grandmothers and grandfathers resolving issues between young couples, but the modern world has seen a dearth of the practice and relatives no longer live in the same hood.”

She said: “Some people have a tendency of venting their anger on others. Suppose one gets irritated at work, he or she comes home in that mood and exacts pressure on those he feels are weaker targets.”

She called on relatives and parents to desist from using their daughters as get-rich-quick-schemes or cash-cows through marriages.

Social networks have also contributed as they are being used for communication purposes while being abused especially for illicit affairs.

“People are taking them as a means of getting in touch with their former boyfriends or girlfriends when they are married. What will they be talking about with the person you last met while you were still in High School?” Amai Chisamba.

She, however, lamented the feeling that marriage is about sex, saying it was for companionship and can be accompanied by the former.