adminWe do know that this society of ours is one where the pressure is mostly always on the men to spoil the women and children in their lives. It probably has a historical background where men have always had the role of being providers.
This society we live in is one that has become used to celebrating women and the many sacrifices and good things they do, which I am by no means trivializing by penning this piece, while forgetting the men.
What I seek to do today therefore is to focus a bit on that important person that we call Father, the man.
Most of the time nowadays when it comes to media reports concerning men, what we see is largely unpalatable. It is almost as if there are no longer any good men out there.
Week in and out what we see are articles about men who are being dragged to court to look after their children, men who assault their partners, men who drink too much and are generally just not responsible people.
As a result we now even have young girls who will tell you they do not want to get married.
You hear of those who say even when they want children they will go to sperm banks. All this because as far as the world is concerned, a woman no longer needs a man when women can look after themselves and in most instances are being left to fend for themselves and their children by men.
But is it all men who are bad?
As much as we have irresponsible men in our midst, men who do not plan for their families, men who do not seem to be aware that God has given them the important role of being the leaders of their homes, men who sleep around, cheat in all dealings and who just do not seem to have any moral fibre and basically just do not man up to their
God-given role as heads of homes and families, we have quite a large number of fathers who deserve our praise.
I use the terms men and father interchangeably deliberately. This is because in my vocabulary, being male is a biological function that anything male can claim to be. However being a father is a different term because while any male can father a child, after a certain age, it takes a lot for one to be a father.
It is for that reason that some men are referred to as fathers in their clans and communities even though they would not have fathered any children yet. This is largely because they would be taking care of many people in the family or community and would be the decision makers.
That is why you see church leaders being referred to as father. Growing up as a Catholic, we never referred to the Priest as a Priest but Father/Baba because that is what the Priest is, a father to his flock.
The same goes for Pastors in the Pentecostal church, referred by many as Father. The title comes out of acknowledgement of the fact that this person is responsible for his flock’s spiritual wellness.
We have many fathers like that in society and we need to applaud them. Today I am referring to the fathers who ensure their children go to school and are clothed and have all the basics they need to thrive. I am talking about the millions of men in this country who you come across early in the morning driving or walking their children to school.
No matter how many meetings and how important they are in society, these fathers have time to take and pick up their children from school, they pay school fees and ensure their children have uniforms and all they need for school. Such fathers play with their children and love their partners or spouses. They know the value of family. I have seen quite a few of such dads accompanying their partners for ante natal visits.
They are there when their babies are born and stay to raise them. Yes, they may not necessarily be in the delivery room but they are involved every step of the way. They are not the type to be called and told that a baby needs a birth certificate.
Do you know that the reason fathers at times do not manage to bond that much with the children as mothers do is because they work so much out of the home to ensure their families have a home and food?
As a society we blame men for not being involved much with the children but ever wondered why it is like this? This is because the fathers have to work to ensure the family is taken care of.
When you see a man go out daily to work, whether it is as a chief executive, vendor, lawyer, journalist or farmer, what drives them?
Yes, there are a few driven by other motives such as power trips but in the majority of cases, these fathers are genuinely going out because they know that if they do not, the little people and the women in their lives will starve.
In a world where men seem to be watching while the role of the father goes under attack, I write to call on us to start celebrating the good fathers in our midst.
The step father who raises his partner’s children, the grandfather who raises his daughter’s children, the uncle, brother-in-law who raises his wife’s sister or relative, the adopted and foster fathers out there-today you are honoured.
And to those men who have abdicated on fatherhood-at times just dumping everything on the mother when in the beginning God gave you the title head-take back the power. This nation needs good fathers.
Food for thought!
Online Reporter