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Financial expert Suze Orman and Oprah Winfrey, among many advisers, remind us time and again, that money alone doesn’t bring happiness.
True joy comes from meaningful actions and interactions and wise financial management. This week, let’s explore areas we can improve on, we look at how financial stability can enhance your love life and make you a value adding type of partner.
Role of money in relationships
When handled with wisdom, money has the ability to enhance the experience of love in relationships and marriages. The Bible states, “A feast is made for laughter, and wine maketh merry: but money answereth all things,” (Ecclesiastes 10:19, KJV).
This verse underscores the importance of financial prudence in our lives, including our romantic endeavours. Can you think of any areas you need to improve on, concerning your finances? It is crucial to remember however, as many may testify that money is not the “end-all and be-all” of a relationship.
I find Proverbs 31 to be a vivid blueprint for financial and relational success largely because it provides timeless wisdom on managing family and the household, applicable to both men and women in my view.
This chapter, often referred to as the “Virtuous Woman” passage, highlights qualities that contribute to a successful and harmonious home: Consider the following lessons we can draw from, using the English Standard Version (ESV) for easier reference.
Diligence and hard work: “She seeks wool and flax, and works with willing hands” (Proverbs 31:13). This verse emphasises the importance of hard work and dedication in maintaining a household. Both partners should contribute to the household’s well-being through concerted efforts.
Financial acumen: “She considers a field and buys it; with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard,” (Proverbs 31:16).
This illustrates the value of wise financial decisions and investments. Being financially savvy is crucial for long-term stability.
Generosity and compassion: “She opens her hand to the poor and reaches out her hands to the needy,” (Proverbs 31:20).
A successful household is not just about financial prosperity but also about generosity and compassion towards others. Charity begins at home but doesn’t just end there.
Strength and dignity: “Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come,” (Proverbs 31:25).
Confidence and dignity are attractive traits that stem from a well-managed life, including financial stability.
Wisdom and kindness: “She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue,” (Proverbs 31:26). Effective communication and kindness are essential in nurturing a loving relationship. Having your finances in check makes you a “good catch” so to speak, because it reflects your ability to manage life’s practicalities.
It shows that you are prepared for the future and capable of handling responsibilities, which are critical in a long-term relationship. Here are some additional tips to integrate financial wisdom into your love life:
Set common financial goals (key for couples to make this an obvious choice as I often advocate in this column): Discuss and align your financial goals with your partner. Whether it’s buying a home, saving for retirement, or planning a vacation, having shared objectives strengthens your bond.
Respect each other’s financial views: Understand that everyone has different financial habits and backgrounds. Rather respect and learn from each other’s experiences to build a cohesive financial strategy, one that you both feel you have ownership.
I was watching a TV show this week,where a couple got into an argument over money. The husband had bought a high density house without consulting his partner, and she loathed it. She in turn, had taken a chunk of their money without consulting either, nor explaining what she had done with it, except to say it was somewhere safe when asked about it. Two wrongs don’t make a right! Needless to say it caused friction that could have been avoided with good communication about each one’s financial choice.
Seek professional advice: Contrary to some schools of thought, seeking help is not a sign of weakness. If needed, consult a financial advisor to help you and your partner navigate complex financial decisions. Professional guidance can provide clarity and confidence in your financial planning as well as objectivity.
Oprah Winfrey emphasises that money alone doesn’t bring happiness. She believes that true joy comes from making others happy and finding fulfilment in meaningful actions. Suze Orman adds that “money has no power of its own. You alone are the power source. You are the one who makes the choices to spend money, to save money, to borrow money”(oprah.com). These insights remind us that financial stability is a tool to enhance our lives, not a source of turmoil.
Prompted for its take, Microsoft Co-Pilot also weighs in on the subject, with the following practical tips for financial harmony, a quality I’m continually striving for:
Do’s
Do create a budget that tracks your income and expenses. This helps you live within your means and avoid unnecessary debt. Regularly set aside a portion of your income for savings and investments. This not only secures your future but also demonstrates foresight and planning.
Be transparent about your financial situation with your partner. Honesty builds trust and lays a solid foundation for your relationship. Complement each other in financial literacy and management. Learn from each other’s strengths and work together towards common financial goals.
Don’ts
Don’t let high levels of debt go unaddressed. Work towards paying off any existing debts to avoid financial instability.
Don”t ignore financial red flags in a partner, such as excessive spending or lack of financial planning. Address these issues openly and constructively .
Ultimately, financial wisdom is not just about accumulating wealth but about managing it in a way that supports and enhances your relationships whether single or married. By incorporating or embodying the principles outlined in Proverbs 31 and practicing sound financial habits from reliable experts, anyone can create a strong foundation for love and a successful household.
No doubt we each can find some of our own life experiences and tips to share, so you are welcome to share your insights and experiences on the intersection of love and money. How has financial stability or lack thereof, impacted your relationship(s)? What financial wisdom have you found most valuable in your journey? Let’s keep the conversation going and make the second half of 2024 even better than the first. Rooting for you as always.
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