Online Reporter
Pastor Sikhumbuzo Dube, [email protected]
It was yet another sombre day as herdsmen trudged back from the expansive pastureland, their faces imprinted with sorrow and fatigue, their steps devoid of energy and life. Their torn, soiled and blood-stained clothes narrated inaudible stories of the adversities endured.
The herd they led, lean and restless, echoed their hunger with every shuffling hoofstep, a chorus of longing lazily echoed in the quiet, battered sandy landscape.
Abram could sense the weariness and frustration weighing heavily on his servants. Though eager to open their hearts and share the events of their day, they hesitated, wary that expressing their struggles might strain the fragile relationship between Abram and his nephew.
Tensions simmered beneath the surface, particularly over the scarce grazing land that fuelled discord between Abram’s and Lot’s servants. It was a test of character and compassion for Abram to summon the courage needed to confront these simmering conflicts and seek a path towards harmony amid the mounting strife.
The patriarch courageously faced the challenge head-on and took the initiative to break the silence, addressing the sensitive situation with resolve and clarity. “Abram said to Lot, ‘Let’s not allow this conflict to come between us’” (Genesis 13:8, NLT).The story of Abram and Lot offers three detailed lessons on how to heal relationships.
Respect
Respect is the foundation for building relationships. Abram approached the situation with humility and respect, proactively taking the initiative to address the problem. Despite being older, he demonstrated genuine respect towards the younger individual, avoiding any behaviour that might come across as overbearing or condescending.
Reason
Reasoning is the initial step to strengthening relationships. Abram meticulously examined the issue concerning the grazing land and the dispute among the herdsmen, acknowledging the potential for such internal conflicts to escalate into broader familial disputes.
Recognising the gravity of the situation, he carefully deliberated on whether it would be more prudent to resolve the conflict through confrontation or consider separation to preserve peace and harmony within their kinship.
This reflective process underscores Abram’s strategic approach to conflict resolution, emphasising the importance of wisdom and foresight in managing communal resources and relationships. In any conflict, it is good to settle for the best.
Redeem
Redeeming the situation is very important when a conflict arises. Whether between spouses, siblings, parents or guardians and children, it is important to address and resolve the situation thoroughly and thoughtfully. Abram decided to resolve the conflict peacefully instead of inciting his herdsmen to aggression.
He took the time to have a conversation with Lot, emphasising that their dispute was unnecessary and could be amicably settled. Notably, Abram showed humility and generosity by allowing Lot to make the initial choice of land, demonstrating that maintaining their relationship was more valuable to him than material wealth. This act of prioritising harmony over possessions highlights the depth of Abram’s character and his commitment to peace and kinship.
Valuing relationships over material possessions is a redemptive act, emphasising the importance of human connections. The statement suggests that heaven prioritised restoring humanity by sacrificing Jesus, signifying the profound significance of love and sacrifice over material wealth.
God rewarded Abram after Lot separated from him. Proper conflict resolution not only brings growth but also a pronouncement. God said to Abram, “Open your eyes, look around. Look north, south, east, and west. Everything you see, the whole land spread out before you, I will give to you and your children forever.
I’ll make your descendants like dust — counting your descendants will be as impossible as counting the dust of the Earth. So — on your feet, get moving! Walk through the country, its length and breadth; I’m giving it all to you” (Genesis 13:14-17, Message).
The above tips are essential for effective conflict resolution. It is important that everyone involved in a conflict demonstrates respect towards the other party. Beyond simply reasoning with them, it is also crucial to focus on redeeming and improving the situation.
This approach helps facilitate understanding and fosters a more positive outcome.
