Have the eye of compassion

others do.
Sometimes I wonder at the degree of negativity around us. Allow me to generalise and say as people we see and highlight the negative things more than we do the good points.
It is so easy to say to someone, even our children in the home, “Zibenzi” (mad person) than to praise.

Is it something inherent in us? Where does this come from? Is it our culture which ties the identity of individuals to the community? You know the Ubuntu principle “I am because we are.”
In this regard society then tends to demand conformity from its members not only to norms and values of the community but uniformity in many areas.
I remember a story that I was told of a Japanese pupil with hair that was of a different colour from the rest who was told by the teacher to tell his mother to dye his hair back.

At times I am tempted to link this negativity to our history of colonisation that tended to brand most things that defined us as primitive and bad. To us therefore we are not good enough.
I have heard statements from our own people that bring out the thinking that nothing good comes from Africa or an African. Do statements such as “This is Africa” and “Mubhoyi!” (a term derived from boy that was used by colonial masters to refer to male servant).

I also think that the way Christianity was introduced and applied brought a lot of self condemnation.
It did not place emphasis on having a personal relationship with God, which would help one to define self in the context of the relationship.
As a result people did things to satisfy other people and I believe this is still an area some Christians struggle with today.

I recall stories of girls who were thrown out of their homes because they fell pregnant out of wedlock.
It is so easy for parents to think of the embarrassment that a child would have caused them that they try to ‘salvage’ their reputation by taking extreme action.
Reactions that we often take are egocentric; it is about me and rarely about the other person.

Think of this, erring puts one under pressure and rejection adds salt to injury.
The media is awash with stories of people whose dark side of life is brought to light. I know such stories make news and generate a lot of excitement in people. Unfortunately it is that kind of excitement that I call negative because it is devoid of empathy or compassion.

There are just juicy stories that celebrate failure, but are not beneficial to anyone. Think about it, after all the whispering and the finger pointing there is no value added to any life even yours. As one writer says, it is an energy leak.
I am not condoning illicit behaviour, but saying we should not celebrate when one of us has fallen.

The word of God teaches us that there is celebration when one lost soul is found. Remember the parables of the Lost Coin and the Prodigal Son in the Bible.
I recall a conversation that I had with some sisters about a sister of faith who was said to have an extramarital affair, unfortunately with a brother of faith. People reacted to this story differently.
Some felt that the story was an embarrassment to the women and the religious fraternity. Others had harsh words for such people who wreck marriages.
These particular sisters that I spoke with were so concerned about the people close to these two.

Although they did not support such behaviour, they had that eye of compassion. To them these are still people who need to be restored and not destroyed.
People such as these have children that need to be protected from the effects of such behaviour as well as the publicity.
An anonymous poet wrote “Never criticise a man who stumbles, unless you have won the shoes he wears.”
The shoes could have holes or nails in them that you may never know about unless you take time to understand the underlying cause.

The poet goes on to say that if you are struck with the same blow that struck this man you too might stumble.
Although I do not remember most of the lines of this poem, I want to say that it carries a very powerful message about not to judge others.
One thing that I have learnt over the years is people’s situations are so different.

You never know what someone is going through or has been through that causes him or her to do the things the way that you find deplorable.
I was touched by an e-mail in circulation that is trying to persuade people not to judge others.

It highlights different situations that could influence disposition or even appearance that we are so quick to condemn.
It makes reference to simple things such as the makeup that you see could be covering a black eye from previous night’s beating.

I would like to add and say that the behaviour that you see could be a cry for help.
There are people that we consider rude, insensitive, deviant . . . Maybe these people know nothing better.
They themselves have are victims of such abuses and thus they parcel out to the world what is in them consciously or subconsciously.

Therefore in our dealing with people we should not be dogmatic but have empathy. Unknowingly by judging others, we put pressure on ourselves. It is time wasted because there is no real value.
Compassion makes us realise that we are different and therefore we should build each other up. The book of Philippians 4:8 urges us to focus on those things that are good and praiseworthy.
The Bible says that 80% of Zimbabweans profess to follow says do not judge as we will be judged by the same measure that you use to judge others.

There is a story in the Bible of seeing a splinter in another person’s eye and not the log in your own eye.
When I read through this text I was taken aback as I mediated on it. I realised that the splinter that you see in someone’s eye could be a reflection of the log in your eye.

Think about it, what you detest in the other person could be that which reflects who you are.
It can also be that this person reflects everything that you are not but wish to be. Your best way of dealing with your inadequacies is to pull this person down.
You are so envious and therefore you become a hater.
Next time you want to judge others, stop and think what the driving force behind you is.
Always remember having an eye of compassion does not only build people but also builds bridges between people.
If you change your perceptions and attitude through renewal of the mind as Romans 12:2 you could touch many lives and also even reduce pressures on yourself.
[email protected]