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Mashudu Mambo
SILINGANISO Dhlomo (65) from Magwegwe West suburb in Bulawayo blushed as she narrated how she met her first love Lovemore Dhlomo (74) whom she has been with for the past 50 years.
She highlighted that her husband had to wait until she turned 18 years old for them to get married.
“Our love story began in 1974 when I was 15 years old and lI was staying with my brother at Llewellin Barracks (now Lookout Masuku). That is when my husband who was training to become a soldier met me and started asking me out. It took me months to accept his proposal because I had to do a background check and get enough information about him. After some time, we started dating and after three years, he made arrangements to pay my dowry,” she said.
Silinganiso stated that her traditional marriage rites were not easy because she was still attending school.
“During my traditional marriage rites in 1977, there was a lot of chaos and fights, my husband and some of the middle-men were attacked by my family members who felt that I was too young for marriage. However, they managed to come to a resolution and I got married to my first love in April 1977. This year, we celebrated our 47th wedding anniversary,” she said.
The couple highlighted the different challenges that they have encountered and stated that they have managed to go through the painful phases together.
“We were blessed with seven children with our first born being born in 1978, unfortunately along the way we lost three children. It has been a very difficult phase but we managed to get through it together. I am grateful that we managed to spend the few years that they had together. Our family has been blessed, we have about 13 grandchildren and we get to relive the memories of our children with them,” she said.
Silinganiso said Christian values are essential in having a long-lasting marriage.
“There is a time in a marriage where you may feel that your partner is not as pretty or young as he was in the past but it is at this phase where your Christian values of the love of God and wedding vows must bind you together with your partner,” she said.
Lovemore said the key to their successful marriage was to lay ground rules and support each other’s decisions.
“After we got married, we then saved using the stop order payment and we managed to buy our house in 1979, we then moved to Magwegwe West suburb where we are currently staying. Our home has been defined by peace and mutual respect and this has been our secret of a successful marriage. This has enabled us to survive the hard times as we make decisions together as a couple,” he said.
Lovemore added that a number of marriages were breaking down because couples did not understand their different roles.
“A number of marriages are breaking down these days and this is because everyone feels that their opinion is crucial as compared to the other party. Couples disrespect each other nowadays because they are probably the same age or are earning similar wages or salaries. It is different because in the past men were the ones that were contributing financially to the household and this promoted respect among couples as men and women understood their roles,” he said.
Online Reporter