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Indiana Chirara Correspondent
Six months ago in 2017 a male friend I went to college with, Takudzwa Marombo, lost his wife in a horrific road traffic accident.
He was left devastated and as a single parent with a burden of taking care of their two young children.
Fortunately, his mother Getty Marombo quickly lifted one of the burdens as she volunteered to take care of the two children.
At the funeral wake Takudzwa wept uncontrollably calling out the name of his departed wife. Everyone at the funeral could tell that he was deeply hurt.
He collapsed twice and had to be resuscitated by mourners at the funeral.
This was my first time to see a man collapse at a funeral. Everyone in attendance felt sorry for him.
Just last week, l received a wedding card from Takudzwa. He was inviting me to his wedding on February 30. l was shocked and could not believe what my eyes were reading. I wondered how he could remarry so soon after the death of his wife.
Part of me felt that he should still be mourning his late wife, instead of marrying another one.
l continued thinking about the matter as the other part of my brain tried to justify his actions.
Maybe life is way too short to mourn for too long, since no one knows the day they will depart from the Earth. Maybe he did the right thing for himself.
However, the incident got me thinking. What really is true love? I was left with no option but to share the issue with other people to hear their sentiments.
In an interview, Mbuya Stella Taruvinga of Murehwa quickly doubted the existence of true love between the husband and his late wife.
“There was no love between the two. It shows that the man was already in another relationship when the wife died.
“For how long would he have known a woman to the extent of getting married, let alone have a white wedding only in six months?
“There is absolutely nothing wrong for one to remarry, however, true mourning is when one mourns for at least a year. That is a sign of true love,” she said.
Mbuya Taruvinga went on to question the sincerity of most marriages of today. She said they were not rooted in true love.
“Most marriages of today are fake as many bad things are happening. Divorce is no longer an issue as people are doing it as if it’s something good,” she said.
Joyce Mapuranga from Greendale, who is in her early 30s, expressed a different opinion from Mbuya Taruvinga. She feels there is nothing wrong about remarrying early.
“As a Christian, I think everyone at some point in life needs companionship. The holy book encourages young widows to get married in 1 Timothy 5; 14.
“Wedding vows say, till death do us apart so people must be free to decide what they want in terms of marriage.
“Some might decide to remarry 10 years later and others a few months after.
“It is all okay as long as they are at peace with their decision. People also heal differently,” said Ms Mapuranga.
Tonderai Maponde of Rugare high density suburb in Harare had his own different story to tell, as he shared his life experience as a widower.
“I lost my wife three years ago and for the past two years l have been hunting for another wife but to an avail. However, l feel there is nothing wrong for one to remarry early. If l had found a perfect partner l would have married long back.
“My life is so empty; I am so lonely. It’s not easy to be on my own. I am living a loveless life. Of cause, l have friends, but still there is a void,” he said, in a voice depicting misery.
Maponde went on to highlight the difference between men and women.
“As men we were created differently from women in the sense that we were never created to be alone. When a boy is fully grown he is handed from the mother to the wife.
“Of course we can do house chores, but not as perfect as women do it. Women are heroes in their own way as they are able to do chores and go to work without much difficulty,” he said.
From Maponde’s view, the Shona adage which says ‘‘Musha mukadzi’’ rings very true.
Online Reporter