adminTerence Mapuka Cool Lifestyle Correspondent
Previously we wrote about parents and their teenage children. From the feedback received there was a question asked by two teenagers. Below is the question and my response. What do you do when your parents think you are not disciplined, do drugs and alcohol? Growing up I remember as a child how you could tell that trouble is coming your way. If you were to misbehave and your mother or father is there, all she or he had to do was to stare at you with that eye and you would know that oh, oh I am in big trouble!
If you were to behave from that moment it didn’t matter it was like you crossed the line and you have already failed. Being a parent now, I have tried the stare on my own children and all I would get was a reaction, “Daddy why are you staring at me? Are you okay?”
What I have seen is that parents nowadays seem to be a step behind the children, especially when they are teenagers.
When you think you have mastered the teenager, he or she graduates to the next level like a video game and you start again trying to understand them.
What does this mean to the teenagers? As a teenager if you want your parents to understand you, help them out. They are not going to know you using their own skills completely. They need your help to understand you.
The reason why a shrink (psychiatrist) gives good advice about your situation is because you give out all the information to draw a conclusion. If you allow your parents to know you they can make the right conclusions.
Find time to talk to your parents, tell them about school, social life and any aspirations you have. Ask them about their own lives and for advice on certain issues you might have challenges with.
Parents need to know that you respect their opinion. If you allow time to listen and courteously tell them when you do not agree with their opinion you will be surprised how they take it.
The problem is these important moments are usually in an environment of high emotions and both parties tend to be angry, as such no one learns anything from anyone and the end is that each party thinks the other does not understand.
What teenagers should admit to is that you are the one to submit to your parents.
You live in their house; you eat their food and they gave you your life .
Once you are clear of that, understand your parents, find out the correct times and the correct way to approach them to discuss these important matters.
If they have their own opinion about you ask them why they think that way.
It could be that you are too secretive, you hang out with suspicious company or simply you were seen doing something when you thought they did not see you. Once you know where your parents are coming from, then you can be able to clearly explain to them exactly how it is.
I believe parents want the best for you, even if you have been in trouble, yes they can get angry with you but if you are open they will still come up with a solution.
It is different when they get to know of it somehow or when you tell them yourself.
There is so much respect you get for owning up to any wrongdoings.
Give your parents a hug and say I love you and thank you once in a while. That is not reserved only for your boyfriend or girlfriend. Parents want to know that as much as possible. I love you teens, be real to yourselves!
Terence is with zwTEENS an organisation which deals with teens and issues affecting them. You can reach zwTEENS on 0774599446, WhatsApp 0772128170, [email protected] or visit their website www.zwteens.com
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