HR Column with Hector Moyo: Compensatory behaviour when we lack something

This just makes me feel good — old age syndrome? Yes, old age ushers in a few undesirable things such as white hair here and there, a little baldness but as for the gifting of recognising the good work done by others, I say let there be more of it.
I began to think about this phenomenon while attending a life-changing continuous improvement programme in which Dr Silas Karambwe continues to impart high level data to a group of truly amazing and determined scholars.

There is something that happens when you know that you know what you know — you become liberated, relaxed and willing to share, sharing at a high level I mean.
The good doctor is unbelievably laid back. He exudes confidence of the highest order, as he does what he knows best, imparting data. He never gets perturbed by a question, answering each and every question in an unthreatening and effective manner. One soon learns to think before asking a question, as his responses are always succinct but unassuming.

I recall situations in years gone by, where some teachers either scolded you or sometimes almost clapped you for asking them difficult questions. This behaviour by those teachers is a good example of a compensatory behaviour — hostility brought about by lack of data in this case.
What am I talking about in today’s article? I am looking at behaviours that we exhibit as we try to offset what we lack in certain domains. These cut across the board, socially as well as in work situations.

Are these tendencies justified, one is bound to ask? Be the judge, dear reader.
A husband (or wife these days) abusing the other spouse because they are cleverer or earn more money than them. It happens and this abuse takes a number of different formats — scolding, beatings, recklessness with money, infidelity, etc.

I am not a psychologist but we can see the causal factor in this scenario. Solution? This reminds me of a pastor I once gave a lift in Botswana whose advice was for us to accept what God has given us in terms of spouses.
Never attempt to change by using physique, he advised, lest one visits prison frequently, like Tyson used to do. Rather use persuasive language and prayer to the Almighty.

During our youths we used to engage in lots of what industrialists would call horse-play. However, there were a couple of learning points that emerged, about the vertically challenged (short) people, for instance — not all of them, of course. They usually were short tempered, their fists were direct and hot, very argumentative they were, etc., — make your pick, dear reader. Some form of compensatory behaviour we began to make out.

The works of the blind — wonderful I tell you. We see a lot of them walking unguided. Those with sight often get lost and ask for directions and it always makes me wonder what would happen to these sighted individuals if they were to go blind, albeit for a short period of time — just a few seconds.
I hear someone saying a second is not too long, I would stand still and let it tick away and then start opening my eyes and move. Clever you, but some would attempt to move only to hit against the wall.

Looking at the world of the disabled (challenged), a little more in-depth — the legendary Steve Wonder, Ray Charles and our own Dr Love. Positive compensatory behaviour is all I can say. I like visiting with uMtembo ozithembayo in the City of Kings and Queens, on account of his guitar wizardry and sweet melodies. Pretorius of South Africa you cannot see the guy for dust, when it comes to track events!

The list is endless, dear reader. I know of some who compensate for not having money (after abusing it) by being nice to their families. Trickery I call it.
In the world of work — there will be lots of compensatory behaviours by managers/ supervisors and employees. This, in most cases, is counter-productive and must be eliminated at all costs. Let us look at some of these manifestations, in a little more detail.
Sly employees (in whatever direction) — they always have a way around their ego-seeking managers/supervisors. The commonly used salutation when employees need a favour from their bosses is “Sir” — then you know what happens next.

“Morning sir”, and the result is a loss of a production time (as the manager wallows in an ego trip after being addressed as “sir” and consequently granting the employee a day off) the ways of the employees in this area are too many to be chronicled. I do not want to be labelled a sell-out.

Inadequate bosses, that is education or skills related to the jobs they supervise/manage — what are the compensatory tendencies columnist, tell us? Dear reader, you know them all too well, stop pretending, is all I can say. The lower limit is you may not get the occasional off days that we allude to above and the worst case scenario is not getting a promotion, ever, if you challenge an inadequate supervisor/ manager. Now try and populate the in-betweens, dear reader!

In contrast, adequate supervisors/managers will not feel unduly threatened by subordinates, hence they will relate cordially with them. They will always try and get the best out of their subordinates through coaching and mentoring. The compensatory relationship is positive in this case.
What is the take home for this week, you ask? There are two compensatory behaviours identified above, the positive ones and the negative ones. The negative ones are hardly desirable. The challenge for all of us is to identify these and to seek ways of overcoming them. I used to have a short fuse wire myself, in years gone by. Solution — I turned to the great book, full of wise teachings, one of them being “do unto others what you would want them to do unto you” — end of story, papa.

Also a lot of malaises are due to limited understanding.

Solution?
Seek to increase level of understanding, using a variety of ways. Read a lot, increase level of competency at work, network with progressive characters, etc. Knowledge is power, they say — I say knowledge liberates.

Not sure what short men can do to compensate for the vertical challenge, at least women can put on high heels. Talking about high heels, what I see these days cannot pass a safety test in industry! When we were growing up we knew them as ‘oqwa’ and yet they were half the length of what they are these days.
I am being given a “why don’t you put a full stop to the article”, compensatory type look by, you know who.