‘I feel so young again’

Question
I AM a 36-year-old married woman and we have a child. For the past five years I have been not been happy in my marriage. My husband and I are comfortable together and that is all. There is no excitement anymore and I find him boring. We never really go out anymore or do things together.

I recently started a new job. I find one of the men I work with very attractive. We have been out for lunch a few times and also went for drinks after work. I think I am falling in love with him. And I cannot wait to see him every day.

The problem is that he is married with children. He has told me that he is happily married and sees me as just a friend. I am sure that if our relationship carries on the way it is, then he will begin to fall in love with me. He is such an amazing person and I dream about spending the rest of my life with him.

I feel like a young girl again .I just want us to be together.
What should I do?
Dreamer
Palmerstone

Answer
First of all you are not in a relationship with this man. He is just your work colleague. If you continue to pursue him it will ruin your life.
It is never a good idea to get involved with people you work with. It can result in one or both of you to lose your jobs. He has said he is happily married and you misread his signals. He is probably trying to make you feel comfortable in your new work environment.

If you carry on with your infatuation you might lose your family and he might lose his. If you think this will result in your two being together then you are wrong. He will probably hate you that you broke his marriage.

Start concentrating on making your new job a success. Don’t behave like this in your workplace your colleagues will lose respect for you and will certainly gossip and laugh at you behind your back.

Put your energy in trying to fix what is wrong in your marriage, which is hard work and everyone needs to put an effort.
Talk to your husband honestly and together come up with ways of spending time together.

Try to find out what made you fall in love in the first place. Also consider your child and how your behaviour will impact on his life. This is what you might not want to hear but you need to be sensible about this situation before you make mistakes that cannot be fixed.