Is this Presidential material?

at the knees, hair unkempt, a faded blue shirt tucked in and bushy-bearded and ill-groomed, can as well pass for a common, forgettable experience in any rural area.
It is certainly not something worth noting, but lo and behold, add to the general languor of the surroundings, the under-development and other rustic features and you can be forgiven for thinking, “Nothing will come out of this place”, as in the proverbial Nazareth.
But is it not free to dream?
After all no one controls dreams, yet many people have tried to craft templates of their lives around dreams.
In fact, in this very area, and this very place and by the very person of the above description, a dream has been dreamt.
It is the dream to become the President of the Republic of Zimbabwe.
It is the dream of the man Egypt Dzinemu-nenzva.
With 30 tonnes of luck and credibility, Dzine-munenzva could have been voted the President of the Republic of Zimbabwe.
Unfortunately for him, he does not have even half a teaspoon of both.
His is a taste of political humour, premised on ambition, notwithstanding the fact that ambition is made of sterner stuff, as William Shakespeare would have aptly put it and tends to cloud his clout.
Since 1995, Dzinemunenzva has contested Presidential, Senatorial, House of Assembly and council elections, in various areas and has won none.
The man took them as they came.
His fairy tale political journey has taken him to Marondera, Chitungwiza, Highfield, Hwedza, among other constituencies and council elections.
In all the elections, the president of the African National Party, would monitor polling stations on foot, hobbling from one polling station to another, with an unbroken spirit.
And with the election season upon us, we are bound to see him hobbling onto the arena to hobnob with the current greats, put on his own little dance and exit the stage in no less a spectacular fashion.
“In the past I offered my leadership but the people could not understand me. I am not finished yet. I am contesting the coming Presidential election and I am confident of winning because the people of Zimbabwe now understand me.
“I want to create employment, because all people must be productive. I want us to be strong in agriculture and retain our bread basket status.
“The inclusive Government is a good thing but it has taken too long to deal with issues,” says Dzinemunenzva.
He adds: “If I become President, I will ban the wearing of trousers by women and all body revealing clothes. It is taboo, because we are Africans.”
And this man who not long ago in the June 2008 Presidential election, failed to raise Z$1 million for nomination fees, is likely to pull some little stunts to draw attention to his small self including some past histrionics in the field of politics.
“My treasurer disappeared with the money at the last minute and I could not register. I did not have other money on me, so I failed to meet the deadline.
“It was sad, I could have beaten Morgan Tsvangirai and probably Mugabe. I have beaten many others before.”
If you visit the man at his home in Hwedza, you will know what I am talking about.
Recently, when I was passing through Hwedza centre, I decided to check on the man, who has eked a name for himself as a perennial loser but more so, as bundle of political humour.
Looking around Hwedza and asking people where to get this man was very easy.
“You see, there is a small grinding mill on the far right. The one that is plastered, and he stays there with his schoolgoing children. His wives stay with his other children in the rural area, some 15 km away,” said one man, with clear sarcasm.
Well, the man himself came running to my car, barefoot, torn trouser, unkempt hair and shabby looking and was free to grant the interview.
Asked about his dress code, he asked to go back into the backyard of the grinding mill and within minutes, returned clad in goatskin cap, a blue jacket worn out by hand washing, a matching shirt, equally in bad shape and the shoes, multi-coloured turkeys.
Then he stood in presidential gaiety, like a president being saluted.
The man is a bundle of energy and with a president like him, who needs an election?
But who really is Dzinemunenzva?
Born in the Gandamasungo area of Hwedza in 1950, he attended Chemhanza Mission High near Hwedza until 1964 before enrolling at St Theresa as a teacher.
“I fought the battle of Chinhoyi after being trained and recruited by Herbert Chitepo in 1966.
“I was also detained at Gonakudzingwa Prison and on release, I crossed to Mozambique to join the liberation struggle in 1975,” claims Dzinemunenzva.
Dzinemunenzva has fathered 11 children with his two wives and survives on his two small grinding mills at Hwedza centre, one of which he is leasing.
The business is seemingly run down.
Like or hate him, Dzinemunenzva is a complete package of political humour, disguised as serious political contest. His is an ambition premised on a dream that will never be lived.
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