It all begins with the first step

Beatrice Tonhodzayi-Ngondo Make a Difference
As is synonymous with first terms, the hive of activity both before and on the day one was phenomenal. You could see parents rushing to buy all the uniforms, groceries and other requirements for their children starting Grade One and Form One respectively. From the crisp and oversized uniforms to the super shiny shoes, it was evident to all who looked that school is something that is taken very seriously, by both parents and their children. Even if it means sacrificing certain things and comforts, most parents will do that.

Both first-time school mummies and daddies, as we tend to call them, because they ensure that they bring all that the school demands on the very first day, no matter how outrageous it may seem, made an effort to see their children settled in to their Grade One and Form One classes throughout this week.

There was a lot of excitement around, with some seen taking pictures and wiping tears as they faced the prospect of leaving their children at school.

While tears being shed when a child has been left at a boarding school are perfectly understandable, what I saw earlier this week showed me that just the idea of a child embarking on such an important journey as school even if they are in day school, can bring tears.

Many parents and children, especially those in Grade One and Form One cried this week. There were incidences where some children did not want to be left behind.

Then there were those children so eager to get started that they were literally chasing their parents away.
In those cases, it was the mothers I saw wiping a tear or two. With my own daughter starting Grade One, I was one of those that also got very sentimental as it sank that the little girl I have babied for the past five and a half years is finally walking her first steps towards being self-sustaining.

She is living her life.
From the number of posts and pictures I saw on my friends and colleagues’ Facebook walls, both in the build up to the first day of school and on the big day itself, many parents were going through the same emotional upheaval.

On one hand, it is tough to let the babies go and be alone in the big, nasty world; and yet on another level, you know that it is necessary.
Waiting to pick up the Grade Ones with other parents, both mummies and dads, at the end of the first day at school, we started observing how today’s fathers are also doing their fair share of being involved with their children.

Back in the day, this was mummy business. Dad’s business was to pay fees. But that is a thing of the past.
Fathers of all races and creeds today are there alongside the mummies to see their children settle in at school. Even in cases where the dads are not together with the mummies, many are involved.

One such couple shared with the group I was standing with that as far as they are concerned; nothing is too much for their child. Yes, the two of them did not work. Yes, they do not live together anymore. But when it matters and it is in the best interest of their child, their motto is to work together.

One dad said while he is not going to be able to do the school runs for the whole term, he will do them for the whole of January, when the child would have settled in and would not be a problem to the mother.

The conversation also touched on school fees, with all parents agreeing that things are currently tough in the country and there is need to truly think outside the box and make sure that the children’s needs are met, with fathers taking the lead.

“The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step. Once your child starts school, they are on their way to making the best of their lives. What we need to do as parents is to support and nurture them as best as we can.

“We do that by paying school fees and getting the required materials for learning as well as just being there,” said one father.
Another father interjected saying it is very embarrassing to have your child being asked about school fees as if they are a parent. Such things, he said, affect children so much that they end up performing badly.

After this, all the daddies agreed that a real man should never play around with serious issues such as school fees and should know his priorities.

They concurred that one would rather have a dull Christmas but have their children’s fees organised.
To say I was shocked is an understatement. The assumption is always that mothers are the ones who care about such matters.
But there are decent fathers out there; men who do not have to be taken to court to look after their children; men who do their equal share of the parenting; men who do their best to provide the best for their families; men who do not punish children for what has gone wrong in relationships with their mothers; men who do not pay school fees only after their children have been sent away; men who do not leave uniforms and homework to the mothers; men who know that when children are supported at the very beginning, they are set on that journey that will make them true men and women of quality; men who make a difference.

Which man are you going to be this 2014? Which man are you going to be when it comes to the children’s education?
Ask yourself and in the answer may just lie the difference.

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