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Ghetto Whispers with Rosenthal Mutakati
ALL seemed well in my nephew Admire’s marriage until the year he decided to buy a car.
From that point, no week passed without his wife asking me to confront him over the type of passengers he was carrying and the time he was getting home.
“Sekuru sungirirai imbwa yenyu. Your nephew has suddenly become a womaniser and is coming home very late in the night. At times he will be very drunk yet he will be claiming to be broke. I have come to a point where he has to choose between me and his car. Handidi kuuraiswa,” his wife often told me with tears running down her cheeks.
So depressed had the woman become that she often threatened to commit suicide.
“Ndichazviuraya hangu asare agarike,” she would say.
Gentle reader, while largely viewed as a sign of success and generally being organised, owning a vehicle can be a source of problems for most people.
It comes with a potpourri of problems that need maturity to overcome.
You suddenly find some dubious characters seeking to have a word with you. At times you are called by your first name and totem by outright strangers seeking to be as close as possible to tap into the benefits of you owning a car.
As I commit pen to paper, many marriages have collapsed because of that four-wheeled mechanical beast propelled by a combustive engine.
Women literally throw themselves at you if you own a car, but this is not without its own challenges.
“I grew up in poverty, but I do not intend to die that way. I need to change and get married to a guy who has a car so that I do not mix with people of various opinions, the so-called POVO in the bus. I need to enjoy just like anyone else . . . ,” one lady told this writer straight in the face.
She said a car featured prominently on the qualities of men she deems ideal to spend time with.
And true to her words, there is unexplained chemistry between people and the smell of petrol.
Cars make the lion in most people roar and this partly explains why some people always dangle keys in public even if they do not own cars.
“My friend to impress a girl or anyone who does not know you clearly, just act as though you have a car and all the bits will fall into place on their own,” an old acquaintance of mine said.
It is not unusual to find people kneeling and according respect to those who own cars at weddings, parties, funerals and other family gatherings while seeking transport back home.
Gentle reader, while cars earn people respect, they have caused a lot of suffering for most people since time immemorial.
A good number of people have lost their jobs because of cars after being involved in accidents while off route.
Tenants have also been sent packing for making the landlord sit at the back while on a trip to town.
“I sent my lodger packing because he made me sit at the back of his truck yet he stays under my roof. I just wanted to show him that a house is far better and more valuable than a car and if he thought otherwise then he had to stay in his vehicle,” one Kuwadzana landlord said while roasting meat in the populous suburb last week.
In some families, people with cars are hated for asking their relatives to chip in whenever there is need to top up fuel or pass through a tollgate.
“He is so full of himself. How does he expect me to buy fuel and pay toll fees yet I do not have a car. Ngaandisiye nehurombo hwangu,” a workmate said of her brother recently.
Married women also have axes to grind against their husbands who own cars.
“I do not feel safe each time my husband drives alone in the car because he may be preyed on by some women. At times I throw away empty bottles of ciders from the car showing that the car is making him keep wrong company.”
Gentle reader, owning cars unlocks many benefits, but let’s ensure we act responsibly behind the wheel.
Inotambika mughetto.
Online Reporter