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Mashudu Mambo
NDUMISO Khumalo (58) and Phumulani Gasela (54) (pictured) from Pumula suburb in Bulawayo are a true testament that mentorship and seeking knowledge are powerful tools in sustaining a marriage.
The couple has been married for 31 years and they are blessed with three children. Khumalo said he met his wife in Bellevue suburb in Bulawayo.
“My wife and I were staying in the same neighbourhood and we were attending the same church, The Church of Christ, so we met often. I fell in love with her and her beauty drew me closer. I came from a broken family, I had an intention of building a good and stable home and I realised that she was capable of creating such a home as she met all the requirements that I had for a life partner,” he said.
Khumalo indicated that when he was working out of town he visited his wife weekly to strengthen their relationship.
“I am a teacher by profession and when I was teaching out of town I ensured that I visited home every weekend and in instances when I was not able to come, my wife would visit and this was done to ensure that we maintain and strengthen our relationship. We work together in church and this started in our days as youths, we are inseparable. My wife is the chairperson of the residents’ committee and while she is chairing I am always there to support her and she does the same,” he said.
Khumalo added that their relationship has been sustained by mentorship and knowledge of the word of God.
“Knowledge about marriage and the word of God sustains a marriage, we are knowledgeable in issues concerning marriage and we are professional marriage counsellors, we practice what we teach others. It is important to know each other in a marriage and be able to tolerate each other’s characters,” he said.
Khumalo added that a number of marriages were failing because the youth do not seek a second opinion in choosing partners.
“It is very important to get a second opinion in choosing a partner, a number of youths do not get a second opinion about their partners. I ensured that l visited my wife’s home while we were dating and this made it easy for my wife to get second opinions from her parents and family members before she got married to me,” he said.
Gasela said what drew her close to her husband was the way he carried himself around.
“My husband usually came to our house to visit my sister who was a police officer and what drew me to him was his character, dressing and the way he associated with people.
“When he proposed to me, I turned down his advances and asked him to wait and prove his seriousness because I wanted a man that was serious about his spiritual life. He started fellow-shipping in our church and was serious about his spiritual life, he ended up being the youth chairperson. We dated for five years and in that period we did not meet on the street but rather he would come to our house and we would meet and chat about our relationship,” she said.
She stated that the secret to their long-lasting marriage is unity and being intentional.
“As a couple you must be united, and support each other especially in public and in instances where your partner’s opinions are wrong, you correct them in private. It is also important to be intentional and the moment you enter marriage you must be determined to stay together forever and desist from the mentality of leaving when things get hard,” she said.
She urged the young people to give themselves some time to learn about their partners to avoid divorce.
“It is very important to take some time to know the person that you are getting married to because this will help you make a cautious decision and save you from settling with a wrong partner,” she said.
Online Reporter