Online Reporter
Laina Makuzha-LOVE by DESIGN
Happy March and a very happy International Women’s Day for tomorrow (March 8).
In celebration of women, I’m excited this month as we focus on practical wisdom which relates to our everyday quest for thriving relationships.
Let us face it, in a world where love is often misrepresented, lack of wisdom has caused its fair share of havoc and heartache.
Many love seekers have reached out with a myriad of challenges and concerns. Some say they are not meeting suitable prospects. Others say there are no prospects at all, or no suitors in the case of some sisters. And still, others are in relationships where they say the fire seems to be eluding them.
If you can relate in some way, this month’s series is for you — the remnant who still care about doing love God’s way, in these modern times. Together, we will explore the wisdom that builds strong, lasting unions, and we will confront the things that quietly kill or prevent love from blossoming.
What pushes love away especially for us women?
Before we talk about finding love, we must talk about what hinders it. Here I picked a few prevalent challenges singles face in attracting, finding, and choosing the right partner:
Unrealistic expectations — Many singles carry a checklist so long that no one can measure up. Standards are important ladies, but perfection is not realistic.
Fear of vulnerability — Love requires openness. Yet fear of rejection or past hurts can make us guarded, pushing away genuine connections.
Settling for convenience — Some stay in stagnant relationships out of comfort, even when commitment is absent. This delays true love.
Ignoring spiritual alignment — Attraction without shared values often leads to heartbreak. Faith must be part of the foundation.
Blind spots in self-awareness — Sometimes the issue is not ‘no suitors,’ but unrecognised habits or attitudes that make connection difficult. For some women, this may mean overlooking red flags in pursuit of security. For men, it may mean undervaluing emotional depth and communication.
The Bible reminds us: “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud” (1 Corinthians 13:4). This verse is not just for weddings or ‘the wedded’ — it is for the journey of singles too. Patience and kindness must shape how we wait, how we choose, and how we prepare for marriage.
Singles coach Matthew Hussey once said: “Love is not about finding someone who completes you, but someone who complements you while you remain whole.” His words echo biblical truth – wholeness in Christ makes us ready to love without desperation.
And Oprah’s podcast recently featured Esther Perel, who spoke of three things every human needs to find love.
She cites security, adventure, and meaning as her three.
Security gives us stability, adventure keeps love alive and fresh, and meaning ensures that our relationship is not just about romance but about shared purpose.
Without these three, relationships struggle to thrive, she believes.
To you dear single reader: Tiri tese. Take heart.
The waiting period can be an exciting adventure.
The journey of love is better together, sharing and exchanging notes.
We will talk about attracting the right partner, discerning God’s will, and building relationships that last. My hope is to one day celebrate your testimony — that you found love, God’s way.
To the married reader: I’ve got you too. Sisonke.
Your resilience and commitment inspire me. Marriage is not easy, but your daily choice to love, forgive, and stay faithful is a powerful witness and legacy.
In the coming weeks, God willing, let us dedicate a series to you — addressing the challenges that threaten marriages and offering tools to strengthen your bond. For now, be encouraged: your labour of love is not in vain.
Keeping it fresh in our pursuit of love, comes not from changing the subject, but from deepening the conversation.
So this new season will be practical, biblical, and relevant as we continue to tackle modern challenges with timeless wisdom.
We must also celebrate victories and confront struggles with honesty. And we will do it together. Love God’s way is not outdated — it is eternal. In a world that distorts love into fleeting feelings, we will reclaim it as covenant, commitment, and joy.
I would love to hear from you. What challenges have you faced in finding or keeping love?
What blind spots have you discovered in yourself or others? Share your thoughts — your story may encourage someone else.
And if you need help with love,as discussed last week, do reach out. Help will be found for you.
Blessing: May your journey in love be guided by wisdom, strengthened by faith, and crowned with joy. Whether single or married, may you flourish in relationships that honour God and bring peace to your heart.
Feedback: You can connect with me on Facebook: Naledi Laina Makuzha, or Whatsapp/SMS: +263719102572
