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Blessing Mushohwe Features Correspondent
The Sunday Mail of April 1-7 2012 carried a disturbing headline titled “Man poisons son in bid to avoid paying child support”.
The man in question laced a cool drink with poison and gave it to his child to drink allegedly in an attempt to kill him to avoid paying child maintenance of US$120 per month. As horrifying and stupid as this may sound, this is not an isolated case. The things men have done to avoid paying child support are unbelievable and shocking to say the least with some even quitting their jobs just so they do not pay child support. This unwillingness to pay child support is so widespread to the extent that law enforcement agents are sometimes overwhelmed with warrants of arrest that are issued against maintenance defaulters. One wonders how bad taking care of your own child is that it can be worth taking a child’s life for.
The reluctance to pay child maintenance has nothing to do with the children themselves but rather a reflection of the old adage that when elephants fight, it is the grass that suffers. Children become victims of love gone sour between their parents, who are now both determined to punish (fix) each other for whatever went wrong in their former relationships.
Men usually have the misplaced belief that paying maintenance is tantamount to providing financial support to their ex-lover who is now their enemy. On the other hand, women sometimes also do use child maintenance claims as a way of “fixing” their ex-lovers. Other issues may also be at play but these are often the biggest problems. Children therefore become pawns in a game of revenge and counter-revenge using child support.
The negative effects of this, both psychologically and materially, are devastating for the children at the centre whose fundamental human rights are being violated left, right and centre. Materially, children are denied their rights to an education due to lack of school fees and other school necessities, right to food, right to shelter and clothing among other material necessities, which impacts negatively on their normal development.
Psychologically, children suffer from parental alienation when they are constantly told that the father does not want him/her which is the reason why he does not want to pay child support. The child grows to dislike his/her father which is very bad for a healthy father and child relationship. Children may also develop other psychological problems such as low self esteem due to feelings of being unwanted by their fathers.
With the above consequences and more, the issue of politicking with child maintenance by parents is obviously undesirable for children. Lasting solutions are needed soon and chief among them is widespread maintenance awareness among men and women alike that child support is a legal requirement, a parental responsibility issue and indeed a child rights issue. Firstly, there is need to raise awareness that paying child maintenance is a legal requirement as regulated by the Maintenance Act [Chapter 5:09].
The public also need to be educated that child support is claimed not to settle scores or as revenge for love-gone-bad but for the innocent children born out of the relationship to enjoy their rights to food, shelter, clothing and education among others as regulated by Section 81(1)(f) of the Constitution of Zimbabwe. It is a responsibility of both parents to provide for the child and ensure that the best interests of the child remains paramount in whatever misunderstandings parents may be having in their relationship, again as required by Section 81(2) of the Constitution of Zimbabwe.
Men should refrain from giving silly excuses and allegations of abuse of the child support money by the mother when in-fact they are just trying to avoid supporting their children. If the allegations of abuse of the child’s maintenance money are, however, well founded, instead of stopping payments, the concerned men should simply gather the necessary evidence and present it to the maintenance court, whereupon a determination will be made and if need be, other arrangements made regarding the payment and subsequent use of the money paid.
Women on the other hand should desist from abusing the maintenance money meant for children (if ever they do) as it leads to unnecessary conflicts between the parents that are prejudicial to the child’s well being. Women should also avoid uttering such irresponsible statements implying that they will punish (fix) their ex-lovers through claiming child maintenance as this also raises unnecessary suspicions as to the real motive behind the claiming of child support, again to the child’s prejudice. Child support is not a method of punishment to “fix each other” but an obligation that both parents have and indeed a right for the child.
Parents, men in particular, should be sensitised that apart from it being a legal requirement to pay maintenance, it is also morally wrong to just sire children and not take responsibility for their upkeep as the ensuing poverty that the children will experience is tantamount to punishing them for sins that they know absolutely nothing about. It is time that we as a society undertake to do what is right for our children, which is maintaining them and giving them a good life to the best of our abilities. It should not be NGOs only that should fight this battle for our children’s rights to provide child support but a combined effort of the whole society to make a difference in our children’s lives.
Nelson Mandela once said, “There can be no keener revelation of a society’s soul than the way in which it treats its children”. Indeed, history will judge us for failing to provide for our children because of our petty revenge fights of love gone sour between former lovers.
- Blessing Mushohwe is a Child Rights and Policies Consultant who writes in his personal capacity. For feedback, please contact him on [email protected]
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