Chronicle Editor
Michael Magoronga, Midlands Correspondent
Social media platforms have been awash with disturbing news of a Harare woman whose alleged love affairs were exposed, leading to her pornographic videos finding their way to social networking sites.
The woman, popularly known as Mai Denzel, was allegedly involved in a love affair with one of her husband’s close friends. Things got sour when the friend discovered that Mai Denzel was dating yet another friend of her husband, leading to him leaking nude pictures and videos to Baba Denzel as evidence that she was cheating on the two of them.
This did not go down well with Baba Denzel who reportedly went on a rampage and splashed the nudes on social media platforms, probably as a way of embarrassing his wife. Recorded phone calls by Baba Denzel also went viral as he sought to ascertain to his wife’s relatives that his relationship with Mai Denzel had collapsed.
Social media platforms went into overdrive and the pictures of Mai Denzel cuddling and enjoying some quality time with her alleged “lover” went viral. The debacle, as it were, drew a lot of debate from various sections of society with some standing in Baba Denzel’s corner saying he proved to be a “gentleman” as he did not beat up the woman as such cases normally lead to that.
Another section of society threw brickbats at the friends for betraying Baba Denzel and having affairs with his wife. However, the bigger issue is how this fracas might affect their child — Denzel — and many others in similar situations.
Little is said about Denzel but given the age of his parents, one might assume he is of school-going age, most likely at primary level. The child is a silent victim. Denzel represents a number of children who go through similar situations which affect them mentally and in some instances lead to teenage delinquency.
The fiasco might affect the way a child grows up after seeing pictures of their naked mother flying all over social media platforms and stigmatisation from friends and relatives. Experts warn that such nasty shenanigans by parents can alter a child’s path in life.
We have often heard and seen children abusing various illicit drugs and substances as a way of trying to rid themselves of some demons caused by their parents. In worst case scenarios, some children even commit suicide.
Ingutsheni Central Hospital Clinical Director, Dr Wellington Ranga said chances were high that such children may indulge in drug and substance abuse, adding that some children may become used to their parents fighting and end up hardened.
“Chances are high that they may indulge in drug and substance abuse as a way of getting rid of the situation caused by their parents. Some children may be used to the situation. However, if for example, parents are always quarrelling persistently, the children may get used to it and therefore that surprise effect does not apply to them,” said Dr Ranga.
He said counselling plays a significant role in avoiding worst case scenarios but was quick to remind the community of the important role they play in raising a child.
“It takes a whole society to create a conducive environment for a child to grow up in. The worst can happen at the backdrop of a community that is rotten already and they do not play their role in avoiding the worst from happening,” he said.
Dr Ranga said issues of mental health were serious but people usually look at them from the outside and do not give them proper diligence.
He said morality and integrity were issues of concern within marriages and the society were somehow not embracing them.
He said there was a need for families to openly discuss mental health issues so that people are comfortable with seeking health care services.
Development and Human Capital Practitioner Ms Sinqobizitha Nyathi said the simple fact that the two parents were being called by their child’s name was unfortunate, as that alone may lead to stigmatisation.
“The boy might become a laughing stock to his friends and peers at school considering that his mother’s face was shown all over social media. The nasty separation of the parents does not only bring trauma to the children emotionally but financially, socially and mentally,” said Ms Nyathi.
She said the children may likely grow up with one parent and have an absent parent in their home which could lead to a series of pain, hurt, trauma and disturbances even in schooling.
“The breaking down of the family unit is not only traumatic to the two parents, but children and all the families involved. The world, particularly Africa, is already battling fatherlessness, which has direct effects and consequences on the foundational fabric of society. It’s not an adorable turn of events for a family let alone the children,” she said.
Evangelical Fellowship of Zimbabwe General Secretary Pastor Trever Masuku said such children need support from family, friends, community, schools and the church.
“Growing up, children were brought up by a community, so, even if the biological parent may not have been there, the support structures played that role to help such children,” said Pastor Masuku.
The priest said chances were high that the family, in this regard, Mai Denzel’s family, is broken and this may have a psychological effect on the children who may end up lashing out at anyone or abuse anything they lay their hands on.
derick.khumalo