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I am in love with babamukuru
MAI CHISAMBA, thank you so much for this platform.
Mine is not a problem but guilty conscience chaidzo. I really don’t know how to start but I feel I need help. I lost my husband in a car crash two years after our wedding, akasiya ini nemwana mukomana. After this trying time my brother in-law and his wife were a pillar of strength.
Maiguru was and is still like my own sister. My brother-in-law is a businessman, I am a professional in my own right.
To cut a long story short I am now working under the same family business nababamukuru as his personal assistant. Maiguru is a very pleasant woman but lights out, havana chikoro.
I have great respect for this woman, don’t get me wrong, but because she does not have any qualifications she is not involved nezvekubasa.
I have tried to resist advances from my brother-in-law but here and there I give in. To me now he is like a reincarnation of my husband. Maiguru pese patinofamba nebasa she comes to take my child kuti musasiye mwana nemushandi kana mofamba ini ndiripo. Mai Chisamba, I feel so guilty but I feel it’s too late to take a back step. The issue here is that my brother-in-law now says he wants to pay lobola for me so that I become his official second wife.
I don’t know how maiguru will take this ivo vane Chapter 37 (5.11). Please help me, I am now confused but muramu says it’s good to officialise because we won’t feel guilty anymore.
Should I tell maiguru so that she is better prepared? I am in love again; I don’t want to be hurt ndibatsireiwo ndapota.
Response
Thank you so much for reading my column. You say yours is not a problem, then what is it? This is a very big problem and a very shameful one. You bed your brother-in-law, why? This is disgraceful!
Your actions are contradictory to what is on the ground. Maiguru, your pillar of strength, the woman who stood by you when you lost your husband, the woman who looks after your precious child when you are away, the woman who trusts and loves you is the woman you are backstabbing. This is cruelty at its worst. You are a husband snatcher!
You describe a woman who treats you like her own sister kuti lights off havana chikoro, you should be ashamed of yourself. Zvekushaya any qualification hazvinei newe.
So in this case what’s your speciality? Don’t lie through your teeth; you have no respect for maiguru whatsoever. I doubt if you have any conscience, muramu is not a reincarnation of your husband, ndibabamukuru and should be treated as such.
For your information babamukuru with his former Chapter 37 now 5.11 cannot officialise anything because it’s against the law of the land, vanosungwa.
This Chapter 37 is for one man one woman, please be informed. My advice is with all due respect leave your muramu alone, respect and give maiguru her space.
You are not in love, you are excited over nothing, the guy you claim to love is your late husband’s brother izvozvo zvega ngazvikunyadzise semunhu.
Yvonne Chaka Chaka once gave the same advice through her song “let him go back to his family”. Why muramu, there are thousands of men out there, go and take your pick.
Never entertain the idea of a reincarnation, it is nonsense and it’s unheard of. Ukapota uchingowira saizvozvo you will sing the blues right through your life. How can you say you don’t want to be hurt pamurume wemumwe?
Look for alternative employment; you can’t continue being your boyfriend’s personal assistant. Remember you have a child and you are supposed to be his role model. You also need to fill the void left by the passing on of his dad kwete nechipfambi.
If you respect maiguru leave her husband please. For once just put yourself in her shoes kuti the two most trusted people in her life, you and her husband are backbiting her.
For goodness sake muramu is not an option, usaite kunge uri “lights off”. I wish you well.
Biting the hand that feeds you
Mai Chisamba, I hope I find you well. I enjoy your column every week, ndinongoti for sure mudzimba mune basa.
Munin’ina wangu ane muromo, most of our family members have given up on her. She is a single parent, mother of a four-year-old boy. She drinks and smokes. Our parents have chased her away from home because anonetsa.
She has no time for her child. I spoke to my husband and we gladly took in her son and to us he is as good as ours.
We have been married for eight years but we do not have a child of our own as yet but the doctor assured us that we will one day have our own since we are both capable.
As an older sister I phoned to say pota uchizoonawo mwana and slow down on immorality.
Mai Chisamba chakasara chine mudzimu wacho – she told me to bring her son back because ngomwa hadzinzwisise.
The language she used is unprintable. I have done the best for my sister. When she falls sick I pay for her medical bills and upkeep. She has no respect for my husband either.
I am really fed up and on the edge. Mai Chisamba, I want to give her back mwana wake akandituka zvandakanzwa but my sixth sense tells me that this boy is innocent and he needs a stable home.
My sister is of no fixed abode anongotenderera muhama nemukubika mapoto.
I worry about her and the type of life she leads. Akatanga kufona achipopota munozvishaya. My husband is very slow to anger but once he gets angry chachaya.
I dread that one day my sister will push him to that level then this will be terrible. Please advise me ndoita sei? I am very down-hearted; I hope my letter gets picked up.
Response
Thank you so much for reading my column, I am very well. I am glad you have a sixth sense, please listen and comply for it is telling you what you should do. For goodness sake don’t send this innocent child away for you will have sent him out into the cold.
If anything bad happens to him you will never forgive yourself. It’s ironic for her to say bring my child back, kupi kwacho if she is of no fixed abode.
This is a very critical time for the baby because this is the time when his character is being moulded.
How on earth can you bend down to demands made by such an irresponsible mother and sister, a drunkard? My advice is you should look at the child’s best interests before anything else. If she insists endai kune vemutemo nevanobata nezve vana.
In Shona we have an adage that says “ane benzi ndoane rake rikatamba unopururudza”. I know it hurts to be insulted when you are going out of your way to help.
Continue to do good, God will bless you abundantly, Iove and pray for your lost sister.
Care for this boy with all your heart, in our culture muri mai vake vakakwana and a very big thank you to your husband for the role he is playing.
Usatambure nekutukwa, vakawanda vanozviitwa asi kuri kure kwenzeve. You sound like a very responsible young lady, with time I suggest you take your sister for therapy, one step at a time.
Her lifestyle is very dangerous and can bring about a lot of problems. Your parents should chip in too, ngavarege kurasa mbereko nekufirwa.
Lastly, this is a plea musadzosere mwana uyu kuna mai vake kana vachiri kuita mararamiro avo aya. Let’s try this and be of good cheer. I wish you all the best.
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Handina zororo
Mai Chisamba, thank you so much for your column. Please help, I am a housemaid, I work from dawn to dusk, no rest at all. Sunday is the day I am supposed to be off but chinzwai I wake up and do everything.
Mai vandinoshandira is an usher ku church kwavo. I am forced to go to this church against my will; the reason is kunobata mwana, a two-year-old child nekuti ivo ndi usher.
Ini ndinozororawo rinhi? I can’t complain, this job is my life and my all, ndongofawo here hangu. Please help.
Response
Thank you for reading my column, I am really humbled. Off, means total rest, kuzorora chaiko, kutosarudzawo zvaunoda kuita nekwaunoda kuenda.
Zimbabwe ine freedom of worship, no one should be forced to go to a church that one doesn’t like. Your employer should be ashamed of herself, vanenge vachimhanya mhanya nebasa rechurch ivo vakakaritsa munhu akatsamwa, that’s oppression.
Mothers should spend time with their kids in all fairness, munhu anoda kunobatirwa a two-year-old kid ku church, why? People should not take advantage of desperate domestic workers.
My advice is garai pasi namai mukurukure uvaudze kuti Sunday is your off day, ngavakurege usarudze zvaunoda kuita pazuva iri.
Murawo webasa unoti munonyorerana pasi usati watanga kuvashandira kuti unoita zvipi nezvipi.
I am sorry about your predicament; it is my wish that you will solve this amicably. I wish you all the best.
I would be very happy to get feedback from you. To your employer I say, as a Christian please treat your maid with love, kunamata kunoonekwa nemabasa. Anongoriwo mwana ari kutambura.
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