Andrew
AMAI, I hope I find you well. I am a 34-year-old married woman and a mother of two. I am a full-time housewife. I am not gainfully employed, but I do many projects to make some money. I am part of a group, where each member contributes US$200 per month.
Each month, a different member of the group receives the total amount. The group has a total of 11 members, and we act like sisters. It has a constitution that we follow religiously.
What we practise is called mukando in Shona. Payments are made on the last Saturday of each month. We celebrate by sharing food and drink. Last month, it was business as usual.
After dispersing, the individual who had received the cash that month sent a voice note, saying someone had stolen her money. She said she had put all the money in an envelope and placed it on a TV stand. Amai, surely, who can do that? How can she be so reckless with such an amount? This is going to destroy the group. Now, she wants us to contribute again and give her the money or else she will take legal action. This is not making sense at all, Amai. Help us. How do we save our club?
Response
Hello, and thanks for writing in. It is great that you are always on the lookout for good opportunities to earn some money. To be honest, I do not know what happened and I cannot begin to speculate. The money could have been stolen or it could have been misplaced.
She may even be lying entirely. It is a shame because things had been running smoothly without a glitch. I think the only way forward is to open a police case and let the authorities deal with the matter.
Once resolved, you can decide the fate of the club. It is an inevitable thing that has to happen.
In the future, exercise caution when handling large amounts of money. Try to create an option of an anonymous drop off, so that if anyone among you is in possession of the money, she can return it with no questions asked.
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I want my wedding gift
I am a 28-year-old father of one and happily married. I tied the knot three years ago. Before that, I used to help my eldest brother pay fees for his children.
I also helped him build a modern house at our rural home, and the list of what I have done for him is long. I assisted him with all my heart and I do not want it to look as if I am complaining.
At my wedding, my brother pledged to give me a Brahman cow after he had said many good things about me. The family joined me in thanking him for such a wonderful gesture. Amai, unbelievably, he has not done it up to now.
I do not even know if he has the cows. I do not know why he did that. I have lost all the trust and respect for him. I spoke to my parents about this and they advised me to ask him directly. Should I ask or keep my pride? I am not desperate for his false wedding present.
Response
Congratulations on getting married. I am of the same opinion as your parents. All the answers you seek are known by the one who promised you the gift. If, in fact, he does not have the cow to give you, at least you will know for sure.
At times, people tend to overextend themselves on occasions such as weddings and are pressured to pledge things they may not necessarily have. If this is the case, it should be known.
Three years is a long time to wait for a gift. Point out how his silence has hurt you. It is no fun to be excited, then brought down by the sudden realisation that you may have celebrated over nothing. I hope I am wrong, and the gift is readily available. Either way, confront the situation head-on. It is only when you do so that you will know peace.
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Sister-in-law
treating me badly
I am 22 years old. I have been helping my parents at home. Last year, we made good money from our garden and I am quite happy to be doing projects at home. It is unfortunate that I am the last born in a family of three brothers and two sisters.
Every now and then, I get disturbed because a sibling wants me for one thing or another. As I write this letter, I am in Harare, where I am being treated like trash by my sister-in-law.
My brother came to pick me up a fortnight ago.
He wants me to help him kickstart a project for a month. He has several things running at the same time and he needs my help. I reluctantly agreed because his wife is mean and full of drama.
Had it not been for my parents, I would have said no. I do not think my brother’s wife wanted me to come. She even instructs the maid to give me leftovers every day.
Since I arrived, the fridge and cupboards are locked, and only opened when my brother drives in; he does not know what is going on here.
I do not want to cause trouble but now I think I have been pushed to my limit. I need advice, Amai. Should I tell my brother or just disappear and go back home without telling anyone?
Response
Your ordeal is quite sad. It is unfortunate that Maiguru is treating you this way, especially considering that you are there to help.
I hope, on your part, you have not been wasting groceries or overindulging. Either way, her response is rather harsh. Have a candid talk with your brother about what is going on.
Let him know that if your presence is not appreciated, you will go back home, where you are celebrated. In as much as you are not gainfully employed, advise your siblings that at times you have plans of your own and would appreciate being notified in advance of any personal request. I wish you all the best.
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Online Reporter