malvernmugadzikwa
Mudzimba
Dr Rebecca Chisamba
Dear Amai, I hope I find you well. I am a married man and a father of four. My father passed away a few years ago but my mother is still alive and lives at the family’s rural home.
I stay with my own family about one-and-a-half kilometres away. We see each other regularly but there is bad blood between my wife and my mother.
Of course, when there are other people around them, they pretend to be tolerant of each other.
A few weeks ago, they picked a fight over a very trivial issue and I took my wife’s side.
There was a very bad exchange of words. It got out of hand when I tried to force my mum to apologise and she refused.
I had never seen my wife that angry. My mother had to flee and lock herself up because my wife had armed herself with a steel pole. I feel guilty because we never resolved the issue. How do I break the ice?
Response
I am well and thank you very much for reaching out to me. I was left confused after reading your letter.
I wondered how on earth such things are still happening.
You say you took your wife’s side and helped incite her to fight with your own biological mother?
This played out like a scary movie!
You should be ashamed of yourself, to say the least.
Why did your mother have to run for dear life and take cover whilst you stood as a spectator? Your wife is off-track and has crossed the line. She may soon turn on you.
Many have perished in similar violent clashes.
It is unfortunate that your mother did not write to me instead. I would have suggested several legal routes for her, for example, to report the matter to the police and to obtain a peace order to stay safe.
You owe your mum an apology and this should be done in full view of the family. You also need to tell her brothers and sisters, and hear what they say about kuripa.
Culturally, a parent is never treated like that. Finally, if your wife refuses to apologise or get along with your mother, keep the two very far away from each other.
******************
Hubby cheated on me with househelp
I am a married woman and a mother of three beautiful children. I have been with my husband for 15 years and he has never done anything to make me suspicious of his movements.
Last week, our househelp took a day off at the weekend. My hubby seemed a bit unsettled; he left home with his car and came back, then told me that the vehicle was not performing as it should and that he had resorted to looking for a good mechanic.
On Sunday, I decided to take a walk to the nearby shops, a thing I rarely do. I got the shock of my life when I saw my spouse dropping off the househelp. I asked him many questions that he failed to answer.
He claimed to have bumped into her in town and decided to give her a lift back home. He says that is when she asked to be dropped off at the shops instead.
I have since fired the househelp because we were no longer getting along well. I cannot get over it. Please help.
Response
Greetings dear writer. Thank you for writing in. Honestly, giving the househelp a lift after he bumped into her in town sounds normal.
What makes it fishy is dropping her off at the nearby shops instead of proceeding home with her since they were headed to the same destination.
It is a very tricky situation because we do not know the truth nor is there an actual smoking gun.
From your letter, you admit that you have enjoyed your marriage so far and there have not been a lot of bumpy obstacles.
I suggest you have a candid talk with your husband.
If you still have misgivings, then both of you should go for professional counselling to get to the bottom of this incident and chart a new way forward.
******************
Am I being petty?
How are you, Amai? I will get straight to the point. I am a married woman.
Additionally, I am a mother of a two-year-old girl. My child was named after my sister who stays abroad.
My neighbour has given her newborn baby the same name and I am not amused.
I wanted to go and confront her, but my husband said no to that. How can we have two neighbours sharing the same name? Amai, please help.
Response
Hello writer, I am well and thanks for asking. Simply put, you are brewing a storm in a teacup. You are overreacting over nothing. Names are common; never take it personally. Nobody owns a name. Even if you trademark a name, people will still give their offspring whichever names they choose.
Your husband is right; you do not have any authority to go and confront anyone because of a name. You may end up in big trouble. If you are really annoyed by it, then you are the one who has the power to legally change your child’s name. The baby is two years old and used to her name. Please spare her and your family the drama. Take it easy. I would be happy to hear from you again.
Feedback: beckychisamba @gmail.com
Online Reporter