NEES, THE SALESMAN SELLING US SNAKE OIL

Robson Sharuko

Metros Editor

IF Michael Nees had not chosen coaching as a profession, it’s very likely he would have been a snake oil salesman.

These are conmen who masquerade as traders of genuine stuff when, in reality, they are pushing fake products.

Snake oil, they lied to their clients, was the powerful medicine which was the magical cure of all ailments.

And, like these fake traders, Nees is selling us a dummy and doesn’t even take any responsibility for the failure of his Warriors who still remain stuck with just TWO wins, against the same opponents, in his dozen matches in AFCON/World Cup qualifiers.

The latest setback was a humiliating 0-1 loss at the hands of Lesotho, who have completed a double over the Warriors, and ensured the Zimbabweans would also not score a goal in 180 minutes of their battles.

Nees used his post-match media conference to mourn that he did not have quality players, singling out Marshal Munetsi as the only one playing regularly at a top level of the game.

The coach said the others were stuck in the Under-21 teams, on the bench and many were struggling to make their teams’ Match Day squads.

He hinted that he will look for another striker to give him options in attack.

He also claimed that his players might have suffered from fatigue after the huge shifts they put in securing a draw against Bafana Bafana in that emotionally-charged showdown in Durban.

What Nees didn’t say is that Lesotho players were also coming from a big shift against Nigeria, in a match they lost 1-2, but somehow they finished the match stronger than the Warriors.

What he didn’t also say is that the Lesotho coach, Leslie Notsi, played his cards better than him, especially when it came to his substitutions, and was rewarded with a goal from one of his substitutes.

The Crocodiles, under a local coach, finished seven points clear of the Warriors, under their expatriate coach, in the 2026 World Cup qualifiers.

Notsi has made history as the first coach to guide Lesotho to a tally of more than five points in a World Cup qualifying campaign.

The only two matches, which Lesotho won on the field, before getting three from the boardroom, were against the Warriors.

Nees said the pace of the domestic Premiership was different from the international leagues which probably was his justification for overlooking the likes of Tymon Machope.

What he didn’t say is that the Lesotho team, which beat us on Monday night, was also made up of predominantly players who play in the local league, a few who play for lower leagues in South Africa, and one who plays in the Namibian Premiership.

The same Namibian top-flight league which Moses Shidolo and Sadney Urikhob left behind to play in the Zimbabwean Premiership which, in their careers, represented a giant leap forward,

Thabang Malane, who was in the Lesotho starting XI on Monday night, plays for African Stars in the Namibian Premiership.

Crocodiles coach Notsi fielded a team made up of players who included a goalkeeper Sekhoane Moerane, who plays for Orbit College, the newboys in the South African Premiership, who are just one point off the bottom of the table.

Notsi also fielded players from the Lesotho Premiership who are picked from clubs like Liolo, Matlana, Bantu FC and Lesotho Correctional Services.

Keketso Snyder, the 35-year-old who led the Crocodiles’ line of attack, has played for various clubs in his home country, including Bantu and Lesotho Correctional Services.

Another veteran forward, Sera Motebang, who was introduced in the second half, plays for Venda FC in the second-tier of the South African leagues.

Hlompo Kalake, the man who scored the goal which powered the Crocodiles to victory on Monday night, is on the books of Lioli in the Lesotho Premiership.

They didn’t have a player who is based in Europe but they still completed a double over the Warriors and prevented us from scoring in 180 minutes of action.

Even the tipsters had warned Nees.

“Up front, Koete Mohloai and Keketso Snyder work the channels, hoping to catch Zimbabwe on the break,” said one of the tipsters.

“Keep an eye on Kalake for late runs – a frequent outlet in Lesotho’s rare attacking crescendos.”

It was all there in black-and-white.

But Nees, probably drunk in his arrogance, decided to ignore it all and, as the tipsters had warned, Kalake was not tracked as he found room to fire home the late winner.

That is precisely what snake oil salesmen do.