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Daisy Jeremani Gender Editor
ZIMBABWE has woken up to a disappointing phenomenon of philandering, where a high number of women have been caught in adulterous relationships, in the process shattering lives of their children and relatives.
In a nation which is still family-centred and most women are conscious and always in need of societal approval on many issues, a number have risked ruining their integrity and that of their families for a fling or full blown romance.
Though stories abound of men who cheat on their spouses, it has not raised the ire of society than the “new normal” women cheats.
The Chronicle went out to interrogate what may have caused the spike in the number of women cheaters with experts and citizens saying the motivation to cheat is that some women are plain greedy while others will be looking to fulfil an emotional void.
A Bulawayo resident, Thubelihle Mdlongwa, said more women are now exposed to a number of media; some which depict unrealistic notions of what love is, unlike their counterparts of yesteryear. Social networks like WhatsApp and Facebook have not helped matters.
“They’re assertive and know what they want out of a relationship and unfortunately when they’re lost in boredom and monotony they seek excitement elsewhere,” she said.
Mdlongwa said it was unfortunate that society burdens women with the responsibility of how to treat their husbands, but nothing on how men should treat their wives. As such married men don’t know how to treat their spouses well and as a result women look for extramarital intimacy.
“Women crave constant attention and romance. For some reason, Zimbabwean brothers just don’t get it, preferring to shower only their girlfriends with such,” she said.
However, as much as these women long for attention elsewhere, they are not ready to give up their marriages opting to have their cake and eating it too, albeit with dire outcomes. At the turn of the century and in one of the most prominent cases to occur in Zimbabwe, Rutendo Muusha was killed by the late MDC, spokesperson, Learnmore Jongwe, after she was found in a compromising position at a Harare law office.
The church, which also should be the custodian of morals, has been found fanning such disharmony with some pastors having been embroiled in adulterous affairs with married congregants.
In October last year a married Methodist Church in Zimbabwe reverend, Nobert Chivese from Harare, was reportedly caught stark naked with a married woman Fortunate Safuri in a parked car in Beatrice.
“I’ve been in my marriage for 16 years and that intense love is gone and I don’t begrudge my husband, we both got complacent and intimacy is gone in our marriage. For the sake of the children and my in-laws I wouldn’t want to leave,” said a middle aged woman from Waterford who did not want to be identified.
The issue of social media was corroborated by a sociologist from the University of Zimbabwe, Professor Claude Gumbucha Mararike, who said television; Facebook, WhatsApp and adoption of foreign cultures were also the drivers in the rise of infidelity cases by women.
Prof Mararike said in the olden days “social technology” tools like runyoka/ulunyoka and being brought before a chief who would make you pay your whole herd of cattle were deterrents. The family unit was also intact so much that the stigma that infidelity, attracted was not worth the effort.
He also cited greediness, saying some women are just plain greedy and have a penchant for high life and would do anything for money and expensive gifts.
The anthropologist said there is a general looseness due to people failing to manage themselves and keeping their anthropic space clean, as women are now so liberal that they can be hugged and touched by unrelated males.
“It was taboo to even give a handshake to a married woman, now they’re not moved by being touched by other men,” he said.
Prof Mararike said people should not justify adultery by saying they were not happy with their spouse, but should just leave instead of breaking their spouse’s trust.
He also said some women are pushed into such behaviours by evil spirits, as some of them would have it all, but would still go out in a self-destructive manner courting trouble into their marriages.
Some argue that cheating is done by women who have a low self-esteem who use flings to feel good about themselves and feel desired.
However, women with an elevated self worth know that adultery is never rewarding and it’s better to wake up every morning knowing that the few things weighing on my mind don’t involve cheating on a spouse.
Online Reporter