No drought beckons, Mr ‘Fox’

MY TURN With Tichaona Zindoga

Zimbabweans, being the renowned intelligent people they are, are not likely to buy the idea that elections are coming soon.The next elections will be in five years. People need not to be whipped unnecessarily into another election mood through promises and predictions of droughts.

THERE is an interesting fable about the Goat and Fox.
The Goat is not the most intelligent of animals — not even holy, for that matter, its offspring being unfortunately in some likeness of the Devil, if we go by Bible imagery.

The goat is a plain animal, largely.
On the other hand the Fox — and usually its relation called Wolf — is cunning, its cleverness being deployed often-times to selfish, cruel ends.
So we have, in the story in question, the Fox, by some unlucky chance falling into a deep well from which he could not get out.

Goes the fable: “A Goat passed by shortly afterwards, and asked the Fox what he was doing down there. ‘Oh, have you not heard?’ said the Fox; ‘there is going to be a great drought, so I jumped down here in order to be sure to have water by me. Why don’t you come down too?’ The Goat thought well of this advice, and jumped down into the well. But the Fox immediately jumped on her back, and by putting his foot on her long horns managed to jump up to the edge of the well. ‘Good-bye, friend,’ said the Fox, ‘remember next time, ‘Never trust the advice of a man in difficulties.’”

The actions of the Fox in this story reminded me of one politician called Morgan Tsvangirai — do I hear dissent already on the score of shrewdness on the part of the protagonist?

Well, the “main actor” is in trouble and that situation makes anybody and everybody cunning when it comes to a matter of survival.
If that point can be granted, we can state the obvious fact that Tsvangirai is a man in trouble due to his waning fortunes in politics.

He lost massively in the last elections.

We know that.

What we know is that he lost because of the vacuity of his message as well as his delusions of grandeur and popularity.
Tsvangirai is facing internal rebellion in his party.

Again we know that; as we also know that his “rich friends” have abandoned him which has meant real trouble for his subsistence, let alone prospects.
But Tsvangirai will not take his fate lying down.

First, we have seen how he has been fighting tooth and nail — that is in the close-to-strict sense of the word — in the party.
That picture of Elton Mangoma, as many before him, will not leave us.

Away from the physical confrontations that have been reaped from Harvest House, Tsvangirai has had other manoeuvres to hedge support for himself, mainly in the form of nationwide rallies, which, although dwindled in numbers as devoid of real cause, have tended to comfort him that he still has support.
Significantly, his nemeses in the party have not been able to muster the same numbers.

Now here is the point at which you have to give it to Tsvangirai.

He still dreams.
One cannot be too sure whatever he smokes, too, but he seems to get some kick from somewhere that makes him dream.
Like dream to be President of the Republic of Zimbabwe.

Tsvangirai seems to believe that such a feat is within his grasp, even after the last July 31.
Damn the advice that State House is too far!

Apart from marshalling his tenuous hold in his MDC-T, Tsvangirai has been using his nationwide rallies as virtual campaigns for the presidency.
Sometimes you get the feeling that we are in an election year, given the way Tsvangirai crafts his messages and his behaving as if there has been no July 31.
We pointed it above: he must be a deluded and crazy man, or a prescient and imaginative one.

Tsvangirai the Fox
Then last weekend Tsvangirai gave us another gem.
He, we are told by this one mouthpiece that seems to be with him in the foolish or prescient belief that there has not been a July 31 in the previous year, “took his battle to President Robert Mugabe’s citadel on Saturday, unveiling self-help projects to help villagers”.

In the fashion of an election season, the paper tells us that the “MDC is seeking to uproot Zanu-PF’s dominance in rural areas and has embarked on projects like drip irrigation and poultry projects, which will be unfurled to all rural areas.”

“The former prime minister told voters to send the ruling party packing for its broken promises, including failing to deliver the two million jobs.
He said he has had to intervene to save the people from the effects of the economic meltdown.”

Are we missing something here?

Of “voters” and “promises” and “jobs” and “saving the people”.

Are we living in a time warp?

We are not.

Someone is.

And there is something particularly interesting in it all.

Tsvangirai is suddenly realising that it is the rural vote that needs to be charmed by projects, when he should have done that before the elections last year.
When one looks at it, it is inevitable to realise that it is all hot air.

Something as big as a launch of massive projects would not have gone without spectacle.
We notice even his spokespersons did not furnish us with pictures of villagers, forever grateful of such amenities, receiving the implements.

That is, the way we saw that one day in November 2012 in Humanikwa Village when he took the world to see the drip irrigation installation he had put for his mother.

(By the way, the project got off to a rather unfortunate start as villagers complained that this special gift by Tsvangirai to his mother was draining off the water table — whatever science informed that.)

Suffice to say, Tsvangirai failed to initiate these income generating projects during the proper campaign season.

If he had the ideas, why now?

The simple answer to the above is that Tsvangirai, who is in a hole, self-dug and otherwise, is in the deep end of that hole.
He has to come out fast and he needs gullible goats that think that there is going to be a drought soon.

Not many Zimbabwean goats would buy that.
And in general, Zimbabweans, being the renowned intelligent people they are, are not likely to buy the idea that elections are coming soon.

The next elections will be in five years.

People will need not to be whipped unnecessarily into another election mood through promises and predictions of droughts.

The Fox may have to rot in that hole.

Too bad, Mr Tsvangirai!