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Sharuko On Saturday
ON Tuesday, I went to see my barber for a routine haircut.
On average, I am there for about an hour or so because he is so good there is always a queue of clients waiting to get their hair cut.
But, I don’t mind waiting for my chance to get attended to because I get to hear a lot of stuff about the juicy stories of life in Harare’s underground circles.
It’s something that appeals to me a lot these days since my boss decided the time had come for me to go and head H-Metro newspaper.
But, the dominant subject in that barber shop is always football.
I enjoy it a lot because I get to hear all kinds of weird tales.
The other day I heard sensational claims that Shacky Tauro never took a bath from Friday to the day he would run onto the field for CAPS United.
Of course, that is not true.
Then, I also heard that Moses Chunga’s father used to throw an eel into a backyard pool, every time Bambo was in action for Dynamos, back in the days when called himself ‘The Greatest.’
Those who watched him at the peak of his athletic powers will tell you there was an element of justification to that claim because Chunga was a once-in-a-generation talent.
Now, there was this guy claiming that Chunga’s father would keep poking the eel in that backyard pool and the more it tried to slip away from his stick the more Bambo, then known as the Razorman, would be slipping past opponents.
Of course, that is also not true.
But, I enjoy these tales, if not for the richness of the imagination behind it but also because they provide a beautiful, if not weird soundtrack, to a time and place when our domestic football was in very good health.
When the domestic Premiership was alive and well and the headlines were about the skill of players like Tauro and Chunga and the iconic battles between Dynamos and CAPS United.
Those were the days of our lives.
Even Gweru was an oasis of amazing football talent – Collin Semwayo, Kisdo Matsika, Peter Mlauzi, Ashton Mhlanga, Peter Mlauzi, Roseman Dracko, William Sibanda, Knight Mathe, Ishmael Meki, Wonder Chaka, Thomas Chipembere.
Those were the days when Gweru United, also known as Pisa Pisa, would even represent the country in the African Cup Winners Cup where they even passed the first test by winning their first round tie against Lioli of Lesotho in 1984.
However, their campaign ended in the second round when they were beaten 2-4 on aggregate by Kampala City Council of Uganda.
That was before the likes of Nkulumo Donga and Maxwell Dube emerged on the scene.
And, I tell my friends that if Nkulumo was playing today he would have been Soccer Star of the Year for the past five or six years.
He was that good.
And, that he never won the Soccer Star of the Year is a reflection of the incredible talent that we had when he was playing.
IT’S ALL ABOUT THE PREMIERSHIP
On Tuesday, I was back in the barber shop and, as expected, the dominant theme was football.
However, for some time now, I have been detecting that while the dominant subject remains football, among the guys in that barber shop, something has been changing.
Stories about local football, and by this I mean the game which was played before the turn of the millennium, have gradually been disappearing from the conversations.
In the past, these tales dominated the conversations but now they just pop up here and there.
Their discussion is now dominated by the English Premiership – Liverpool, Arsenal, Manchester City, Chelsea, Manchester United (for all the wrong reasons, of course) and even Spurs.
My barber tells me that he is a Manchester City fan.
He tells me that he is also a Dynamos fan but he has not been to a local stadium to watch the Glamour Boys in about a decade.
On Tuesday, my barber and his colleagues took things to quite an extreme level as they never talked about anything else except news related to the English Premiership.
They talked about the spectacular demise of Manchester United, about how the Red Devils are now barely recognisable as the club which Alex Ferguson coached and how, under Erik Ten Hag, they have become a symbol of failure and a serial partner of humiliation.
They talked about how Arsenal have transformed themselves into a really potent force under Mikel Arteta and do not have the soft belly that used to affect them when the going got tough.
They talked about Liverpool, the smooth transition from Klopp to Slot and how Salah alone is better than all the Manchester United forwards put together.
And, they asked if the football gods have set seven goals, as the benchmark of humiliation, whenever these big traditional rivals clash as they noted that Liverpool hammered United 7-0 and CAPS thrashed Dynamos 7-0?
They asked why is it that Erling Haaland has scored 10 goals in just six league games in the Premiership this season while William Manondo, who is the leading goal-scorer in our top-flight league, has scored just 12 goals in 28 games?
After I was done with my hair cut, I paid my bill but stayed in that barber shop for about 30 more minutes, just to listen to more of their stories.
THE SHOWERS AT RUFARO
When I returned to the office, I took time to reflect on the conversations in that barber shop.
It struck me that throughout that conversation, no one had dared talk about the Harare Derby, whose latest edition is set to explode at Rufaro tomorrow.
It struck me that, in the week leading to the Harare Derby, everyone in that barber shop was not even talking about the biggest football match in the capital.
It struck me that, just a few days before the latest Harare Derby, everyone in that barber shop was talking about the English Premiership, about City and United and about Liverpool and Arsenal.
It struck me that the Harare Derby was nor even an afterthought in their discussions, did not even feature on the periphery of their discussions and was something that was of no interest to them.
This is a big game which is set to explode in their city tomorrow but no one was talking about it and, to put it in another way, no one was interested in it.
All this made me feel quite sick because it sent a very powerful message to me that our domestic Premiership was dying a very slow but certain death and this was happening right in front of us.
It got me thinking that if these guys can’t talk about Dynamos and CAPS United, in the week the two giants are set to play each other, what are the chances of them thinking, let alone talking, about Herentals and Yadah meeting in a league match at the Heart Stadium?
What are the chances of them thinking, let alone talking, about Chegutu Pirates and Ngezi Platinum Stars meeting in a league match at Baobab Stadium?
All this left me confused and told me that we are letting our Premiership die and, it seems, we are in denial that this is happening.
We look at the crowds at Division One games and we fool each other that it’s because those games are cheaper instead of accepting the reality that the guys down there have come up with a package that is attracting patronage.
We see less than 3 000 fans watching a Dynamos game at Rufaro and we don’t seem to care about it or care about the signs which are coming from there because we are in denial.
Tomorrow we might see a better crowd, about 10 000 or so, and we will start lying to each other that this shows that our Premiership is alive and well.
For goodness sake, this is the Harare Derby and those of us who were part of this show when it was in a very good shape know that it was a very special occasion.
I remember one particular day in 1995, during that famous Africa Day Cup battle between these two giants, when a Tauya Murewa inspired Dynamos rose from the dead and erased a two-goal deficit to win the match 4-2.
I arrived at Rufaro at about 2pm and quickly realised that I was late and the stadium was fully packed.
At the main VVIP gate, there was chaos and Morrison Sifelani, who was the Dynamos and PSL chairman, was also trapped outside the gate.
I greeted Sifelani and he sent an emissary to tell those who were manning the gate that their boss was still outside the stadium and that gave me hope that we were going to get in and watch the game.
It was a bright and sunny day.
Suddenly, we felt some showers hitting us and Sifelani turned to me and said that this was a very blessed day and even the heavens were smiling at us because they had given us some rains.
What Sifelani didn’t know was that the showers were actually urine which was coming down from those who had converted the upper western stand into their makeshift toilet.
Back then, the Harare Derby was alive and well and our domestic Premiership was in good health.
To God Be The Glory!
Peace to the GEPA Chief, the Big Fish, George Norton, Daily Service, Sitting Bull, Crazy Horse and all the Chakariboys still in the struggle. Come on Dynamos!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
MaBlanyoooooooooooooooooooooo! Text Feedback: 0772545199, WhatsApp: 0772545199
Email: [email protected]
You can also interact with me on the ZTV football programme, Game Plan, where I join the legendary Charles “CNN” Mabika on Wednesdays
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