Sundaymail Editor
PEOPLE who are magnanimous enough to accommodate friends and relatives in difficult times often have sob stories involving beneficiaries of their benevolence.
Betrayal, disrespect, gossip and backbiting feature prominently in the stories they tell.
Some relatives no longer see eye to eye and fight each time they meet because of this.
“Imbavha”, “He is ungrateful”, “He is greedy”, “He is inconsiderate”, “He is silly” and “Akapfuhwirwa” are common lines you hear from people when referring to relatives and close associates they would have lived with at one point in their lives.
As I commit pen to paper, gentle reader, a friend is regretting his decision to accommodate a cousin who had run into challenges.
“If I knew this is what he would do to me, I don’t think I would have leapt to his rescue. He usually comes home around 10pm sloshed and in the company of women of easy virtue. Trying to advise him against this elicits vulgar responses and he always wants to prepare meals for himself in the dead of the night despite the fact that he buys no food,” he said.
“It is even worse when my wife tries to talk to him, as he says he does not take kindly to being confronted by women. The guy cannot even use the bathroom properly, as he always leaves a mess. It is trouble after trouble with this guy. I am really in trouble with my wife because of him.”
But he is not alone.
A lot of people have similar stories to tell about how they were betrayed by people they tried to help.
“If there was a way, I would never accept a relative near me. I once engaged a family member as a maid and each time I visited our rural home, people would tell me of the bad stories she told them about me.
The girl made sure she told the whole village about the fights I have with my husband. She would also accuse me of being a poor employer, who struggled to pay her salaries, even though this was not true,” one lady told this writer last week.
A workmate told me he was done keeping relatives at his house.
“Some people lack etiquette. My younger brother would steal food from the house to sell and buy beer. I finally sent him packing after hearing that the bloke once attempted to rape my wife. Having a relative staying with you can be a source of problems in your marriage because the wife would always feel her power in the home is being diluted,” he said.
“There is nothing wrong in asking a brother to water the garden. I was shocked when my brother told other relatives that I made him miss school by asking him to weed and water the garden at times when he should have been attending lessons.”
There are also worrying reports where some people have been attacked by robbers at the instigation of relatives or friends they accommodate in their homes.
Others have suffered the embarrassment of having their children, wives and maids sexually abused by relatives.
In some instances, these thankless relatives steal things, including money.
In addition, food is largely a source of conflict in situations where relatives stay together.
Some people eat a lot but do not want to buy the food, while others cook a lot but do not want to either buy electricity or refill the gas.
It is always a “veduwee, veduwee” situation when people stay together.
Do unto others as you would want them to do unto you.
Inotambika mughetto!
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