Of 2013 harmonised elections and baby names

Lenin Ndebele
THE long wait is over, the make or break election is gone.
Some people went as far as saying it was a “winner-takes-all” affair.  But on the social side there are some expressions we will not forget at least until the next election.
In 2008 when social media was a rare thing considering Zimbabwe only had 3G technologies in 2009, people shared jokes about the elections via the now expensive SMS platform.

Those who had the privilege to visit internet cafes forwarded emails that spoke about parents calling their children “Run-Off Munyaka” “Re-run Ndlovu” and “Co-sharing Tshuma” just to mention a few.

This time around things are different.  The jokes are back with a sharper sting but still under the seasonal expressions and vocabulary tag.
Santa Claus or should I say Father Christmas always returns at the end of the year with the “ho-ho-ho” catchphrase but the general elections always have something of a surprise.

With many people using smart phones, and WhatsApp being the preferred medium to exchange jokes, most of us have had a good laugh with a number of names given to children who were born on 31 July.

Trounced Moyo was taken from constituencies where some candidates lost by large margins.  Landslide Dube was taken from Zanu-PF getting a 61 percent of the presidential vote, ahead of MDC-T’s paltry 33  percent.  Two-Thirds-Majority   Shiri   is   inspired   by   the   fact   that   Zanu-PF managed to secure a two thirds majority in Parliament which gives the party enough numbers to clean up the constitution, if it decides.

There is a related joke about the new Buhera   South    MP    Cde   Joseph   Chinotimba saying “we have a four-thirds majority”.
There is also Free-and-Fair Mapunga.  This one takes its sting from what the Sadc and African Union observer teams have said about the recent elections. They certified the polls free and fair.

Go-to-Court Ndebele (not my relative lol) is taken from the various matters taken to the Constitutional Court for arbitration in the run-up to the elections. In one of the matters dealt with by the Constitutional Court, the MDC formations and smaller political  parties  had  taken  their  fight  to Sadc contesting the 31 July election date.  Sadc then requested President Mugabe to approach the courts for a possible date extension.  Sadc-endorses Phiri is also taken from what the regional bloc had to say about the recent elections.

There is also Loser Ncube.  No one wants to be a loser.  If one’s parents give that as their child’s name he/she would have a difficult life right up to a point where they can legally change their name.  Loser refers to those that failed to win elections.  Most of those are in the breakaway MDC led by Professor Welshman Ncube.

Asijiki Magunje takes its root from faceless Facebook character Baba Jukwa whose signature is “Asijiki.”  Baba Jukwa seemed to be popular with MDC-T followers in the weeks before the elections.  With more than 300 000 likes on his page some thought the “likes” would be converted to votes.  They weren’t.

Bussed Jiri has everything to do with campaign rallies. Parties accused each other of bussing people to their rallies. But the truth is bussing is not a new or bad thing as everyone with the means can provide transport to people willing to attend their rallies. Even the ANC in South Africa does that, I am reliably informed.

Western-Puppet Maseko came to stick around because of the “house nigger” of Zimbabwean politics, MDC-T whose policies and ideologies are shaped and influenced by the West. It remains to be seen if this term will not be around in 2018.  It has been around since 1999.

Rural-Stronghold Gonzo is linked to the ruling party, Zanu-PF which during the July 31 elections further cemented its rural presence. The party won most seats in these areas.  Political analysts attribute this success to the indigenisation and land reform programmes.
Declared-Winner Sibanda is another interesting one.  When Zimbabwe Electoral Commission officials were announcing results on radio and television, the most listened to word was “declared” because after it the winner of the said constituency would be announced.

Recount Muvudzi is derived from one or two constituencies where candidates believe the electoral system was fraught with irregularities, and they are appealing for recounts.

We can only wonder what names would come about in 2018 but until then it’s the likes of Asijiki and Spoilt-Ballot.