Of CEOS, cash, violence

Bra Gee
US$3000 a month is measly! There are people who should rush to their rural homes, brew beer, and slaughter a few goats and a whole mombe while taking the ancestors to task for forsaking them. How the hell do you get a measly four or three thousand dollars a month when the lazy bug immediately above you has got a good US$15 000?

And that poor bug should also consider a new brand of antiperspirant. How the hell do you get one small increment of US$4 000 when someone gets US$8 000 while others get their large salaries doubled and some?

The old time razor blade, the relative and the tree stump must be cursing all the months when they have been struggling to make ends meet while the soft one and all those above him were wondering how to make sure that they go through one salary before the next one is due.

We have started feeling very sorry for the happy son who was long deemed a runner trying to be a manager. The poor boy was obviously outclassed in the big boys’ club as he tried to make ends meet on a mere US$40 000, just a sixth of what real men take home.

What would we do with 230 000 notes every month? Easy. We would build our own brewery and make sure that production runs non-stop. But we would make sure that we manage it ourselves for we could never put in a CEO to plunder it for us while we drink in oblivion.

We have said that we are not in the business of prophesying but we did state that more mountains would be crumbling and an avalanche has started. Fortunately we at the usual place are only small fish who have been watching in envy as the big fish flashed their wads of dollars.

In fact one of the big fish walked into the usual place late last year, ordered a coke for himself and a lager for his lucky relative. He then brought out a hundred dollar bill and walked out before the waitress was even back with the drinks telling the lucky relative to drink the coke as well and keep the change.

We looked expectantly at the relative waiting for him to do the right thing. Now if the relative had bought a round for all regulars in the bar, the big fish would have been a hero and we would be sadly shaking our heads at his impending exposure. But no! The lousy fellow pocketed all the change and walked out of the usual place.

Now what kind of deplorable behaviour is that? How could he take our money and go and waste it on things like bread and tomatoes and other such domestic nonsense? Money in the bar belongs to drinkers not spouses and mistresses and their various offspring who may or may not be related to the patriarch of the family.

If you remember last week we asked when green became a n’anga colour? We had always thought that the mystique around the colour green was something created by the apostolic sects. It was always as clear as a lager in a clean glass that there was yet another charlatan abroad.

We would like to buy the man who refused to pay the beasts a few rounds. Unlike others we shall not name, he refused to blindly follow a person just because they claim to have worked a miracle. Now we hope the courts will put this con artist and his helpers away for a long time so that he can rethink on innovative ways of earning money in this our CEOs’ economy.

The jackpot on the verdict of the pastor with rampant appetites gets bigger as we have to wait yet again. And we are beginning to doubt if it will even come soon.

But meanwhile he provides good drinking conversation as each one of us becomes a legal expert as we explain why he should or should not be set free.

That is when we are not talking about the other big fish that still have to come to the party where the water is hot and they are the main dish.

Take the CEO with voracious sexual appetites especially for young willowy girls who could be his grandchildren. You know how he jets them around the globe where he is ostensibly on official business.

Then we hear that he buys them houses and maintains them in luxury once they become the mothers of children who may or may not be his own.

That size obviously fits a few profiles and you are wondering which one I am talking about in particular. This one is known for hitting the girls in public.

Why he was even asked to leave one country a few years back after he slapped one of his very young consorts in the lobby of a pricey hotel in full view of everyone.

Prominent men and a prominent woman who were there never said anything. Why? Because obviously the CEO has a lot of money to spread around and buy the silence of such big people and even the small people.

But that money does not belong to him and we would like to know how much he is paying himself at the place where he is doing such a shoddy job of PR.

Let the mountains quake in their sleep for the earthquake can no longer be stopped. Till next week, bottoms up!