adminKhuphuka Nasingeni
At last the local league has given us something to talk about. There has been so much talk about foreign teams and foreign stars you sometimes wonder if our people are sporting zombies locally whose spirits always hover over Europe for a whole football season! The Dynamos and Caps United match changed all that. A�
Suffice to say six goals were scored during that match, with the last three coming after some fans had left the stadium. I am no expert when it comes to scientific determination of when a goal can be/should be scored or how long a move should be to result in a goal but what I noted was that Caps players outdid themselves to a point that Hardlife cried, with tears of joy running down his cheeks over the 3-3 draw.
The Highlanders supporters, who interestingly were rooting for Dynamos (yes, you read right) were so furious after the match they started composing jokes to lampoon Dynamos. Even those not known to support the two teams could not understand how three goals were scored in the twilight of the match as on 86 minutes it was 3-0 in favour of Dynamos. Now I know what they mean when they say ita��s not over until ita��s over.
So much talent was uncovered on the field of play. You can cast Hardlife into a crying role on any drama and he will do the job with aplomb (no pun intended) or better still hire him as a professional mourner where his cries would send a message throughout the village that tragedy has befallen your family.A� And that was not all.
Murape Murape would not be outdone at the derby, he just could not contain himself.A� I hear Iyasa are looking for him in connection with his dances on the field of play on Sunday. I hear he performed new dances that some likened to ndombolo and some somersaults that would make Bev green with envy.
News reaching my bureau is that Chipawo were also interested but that they were likely to be pipped by Iyasa for Murapea��s signature due to his age!
It is understood that he is being sought to fit into Futurea��s past role (aka Uglicia) and his athleticism has given him an edge over other contenders. So get ready to welcome the surprise performance soon of Melaphe Melaphe!
Coaches should share with us how they choose their assistants or their technical teams. My guess is that you need a bouncer assistant coach for security and a performer to keep the team in high spirits and entertain the fans.
Of course, they should know their football. I reached this conclusion after noticing that Cosmas a�?Tsanoa�? Zulu will be headlining uMahlekisa comedy show in Bulawayo. I am looking for Murapea��s number so I can organise a roast!
In these uncertain times one needs an option B. Talking of which I swear I saw some guys that retired from social soccer at a mana��s netball tournament in the city. You aina��t seen anything yet.
What girls can do, we can do it even better, the guys seemed to be saying. I am sure you are wondering if they rocked the short skirts too! Why not!
After all basketball, that is played in those huge shorts, is a unisex sport and a distant cousin of netball. Some of our perennially underachieving football players had better try their hand at netball instead of countless trips to lower divisions. Sportspersons are a strong lot.A� I salute them for enduring the heat.
The weather has been very unkind with record high temperatures leading to jokes flying around that satan was hosting a braai while some even intimated rapture could have taken place and the chosen righteous ones taken to heaven hence the hellish rise in temperatures!
It seems the weather forecasters were right about the high temperatures in the country though the rainfall part seems to have been slightly off the mark.A� Still we wait. I am making the comment out of concern.
You see now because of the water situation, bathing has become optional and the market is now awash with new perfumes brewed on our sweaty bodies and flavoured by the unforgiving African sun.A� I will stick the Bulawayo water shedding timetable by the bathroom door so no one at home accuses me of evading the water.A� I will take a bath every two days; after all it has been established through research that we over-bath actually.
Picture this. If ladies bath twice a day using an average of 20 litres (I use five litres) a�� multiplied by about 300 000 bodies and then you allocate the other 200 000 to men that use on average 15 litres a day.A� We have not even washed the dishes and the sweaty socks and other stuff!
Just imagine how much water we would save.A� Already I am seeing concerned and creative residents crafting informative stickers such as a�?Save water, bath with your neighboura��, a�?Save water, drink beera�� and the list goes on.
Online Reporter