Chronicle Editor
Mbulelo Mpofu, Showbiz Reporter
TUESDAY will be Valentine’s Day – a good day that many lovers look forward to as they anticipate being ‘rewarded’ for the love they give their better half. The not so lucky in love will have to endure Mlindo-The-Vocalist’s “Valentine is coming, where is your boyfriend?” track.
The luckiest in love will receive marriage proposals – some will be public before relatives, friends and strangers. This ‘new’ way of bending the knee has been extensively captured and replayed on social media lately. Sadly the most memorable of these proposals have been disastrous and embarrassing and forced many a man to take the walk of shame after his proposal is flatly turned down. Restaurants, parks, airports and even churches have played host to marriage proposals gone wrong.
These disastrous public proposals have become so rampant to the point of fuelling the notion that umjolo (relationships) is a pandemic. A public proposal refers a proposal when other people are present.
The success rate of these public proposals has been arguably low with the famous successful one being that of Makhosana Mguni who proposed to his girlfriend Belinda Nyoni in 2019 at Chicken Inn Drive Thru in Bulawayo.
Saturday Leisure went about the streets of Bulawayo, in search of answers to the following question – “Are public marriage proposals the way to go this Valentine’s Day?”
“I’d rather have us doing it (marriage proposal) outside the public eye. This is because of a few reasons; I want to avoid a scenario where I feel cornered to say yes and end up saying no while my suitor does the walk of shame. The other is that one can only publicly propose when both of them are on the same page and they’ve had a conversation regarding marriage. I prefer to show everyone else a photo of my ring after I say, ‘Yes.’
“Be sure she’ll say yes, otherwise don’t even. Sometimes, some people will genuinely not be ready to get married. I think a conversation can be had to know if someone is ready. We could be planning to marry but you could propose and I’ll say no because I’m not ready but I’ll still want to be with you. Just not ready to be your wife,” said Sinikiwe Ncube.
A woman who preferred to be named Thickums said:
“I think any kind of proposal is a process and a reflection of whether or not you know your person. In the duration of the relationship, you’ve had such conversations of how you would want certain events to go and if your proposal is not like that then both of you haven’t been listening to each other during your dating period. I for one I am a fan of grand gestures so a public proposal is something I wouldn’t mind at all for myself and my partner should be aware of this if it’s gotten to that point in the relationship.
“When one does a public proposal and they receive a No it means a lot of conversations that are important haven’t been happening lisajola, because when a proposal comes, it shouldn’t really be a surprise, the surprise is of when the day is only. In conclusion, before you get on your knee, public or private, you should already know the answer. Just know your other half. Some of these things don’t need public opinion. You know what is good for you, your partner and relationship. Plan accordingly.”
Lesego Mketwa opined that such public displays of affection are archaic.
“The public proposal gig is a dead thing in my opinion. It’s lost its punch. I’d opt for a more intimate and private thing. When it comes down to proposing I feel like it has to be me and babes alone. Doing it in front of everyone messes up the ambiance of our love. It’s like an invitation into your private life, for everyone around to participate. There’s words you would want to say that only she gets, throwing in a few of the nasty reasons you want to be with that person for the rest of your life.
“You can’t have everyone knowing how your woman goofs and how much it makes you want to wake up to giving her forehead kisses every day. The idea of a proposal is to establish that you’re for that person and only them and so one mustn’t feel it’s something you want to do around anyone else but her and maybe the waiter serving you on the candle lit roof top with a Playlist that both you appreciate playing in the background, ” he said.
On Valentine’s Day, will you be doing a proposal of nuptial proportions in public or you will do a, “What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas” and do a private one? — @MbuleloMpofu
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